Exchanging Words
by KiaForrest
Summary: LightSweet Kaylee & Mal but everyone gets to play in my 'verse OR: In which Captain Dummy encounters a seldom generous universe while thrilling heroics are going on right under his nose. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Rated T  
Spoilers for Firefly series  
Gen Fic – sweet/light Mal & Kaylee but everyone gets to play in my verse.  
**Disclaimer:** Firefly & Characters aren't mine. Money sure as heck isn't mine either (gorramit!). My heart is just dancing in their 'verse for a little while.  
**Summary:** In which Captain Dummy encounters a seldom generous universe while thrilling heroics are going on right under his nose

---oooo---

Malcolm Reynolds observed Kaylee from the doorway of the engine room. There was nothing odd about Kaylee bending over her toolbox. Sniffling and clutching her hand to her stomach like she was going to throw up on her precious bits and pieces _was_ odd.

She whirled around, feeling his stare, and almost tumbled backwards. Her knot of hair wobbled on top of her head as she caught her balance and tried to bluff it out.

"Hey, Captain." Her greeting was cheerful, if a bit forced as Mal strode into the engine room. "What's the news?"

"Heard you and Simon exchanging words." He said without responding to her greeting. Most of the Central Planets might well have heard Simon cutting loose all his fears and frustrations; heaping them on Kaylee's head. Mal didn't mention that part.

Kaylee sighed and looked to the deck, speaking just loud enough he could hear her above the whirl of _Serenity's_ engine. "You come to fuss at me?"

"Came to see what was wrong that you'd be needing a doctor for. Needing, not wanting." Mal smiled. He couldn't help it. She must have interrupted the doctor with the phrase, 'but I just need' three times. Each time Simon had charged ahead as if she hadn't said a word.

Brushing his hand along her cheek, he whispered, "What did you need, Kaylee?"

Kaylee shook her head even as words escaped, "I didn't mean for him to feel hunted like - like I was a Fed."

"Don't go puttin words in the man's mouth. Haunted, he said. Not hunted." Mal stepped back, not quite believing he was defending Simon.

"He looked like that though." Kaylee sat down on her toolbox. "He looked hunted and weighted by … everything. I never meant to make his life here oppressive."

She was weary from remembering Simon's face. The glare of his eyes and snarled shout from the depths of his rigid body outside the infirmary door was a sight she coulda lived without. _Shoulda know'd others would hear_, Kaylee thought_, no secrets on this boat, well, except Simon's and River's and the Shepherd's. Oh, well, and whatever Inara's was. And of course, the Captain and Zoe had their own secrets from the war and Wash kept whatever Zoe shared behind their door. Yeah. Secrets: Lots of secrets on this boat. But no secrets for Kaylee..._

Mal knuckled her lopsided rat of hair and startled her. When she finally looked up, he reminded her, "I'm thinkin he had the weight of River and the expectations of the 'verse on his shoulders before he ever stepped on this boat. Seems to be his way. He trusted you enough to bring River aboard. Might wanna remember that."

Kaylee searched his face. She was thankful the Captain was at ease with her scrutiny. He met her gaze steady, without looking for somewhere else to focus his thoughts while she took time to think on his words. His jaw remained relaxed; his eyes open and clear without those squinty lines that preceded a fuss. He even smiled at her when he saw her catching up to his way of thinking.

Finding air settling into her lungs without choking her with stupid tears, she whispered, "It's better to know, ain't it?"

Mal nodded, cleared his throat and the squinty lines showed up faster than Reavers on the hunt, "You gonna answer me? Or you need more womanly soothing?"

"That was soothing?" Generous laughter bubbled from her, "Captain, you got a special way bout you for sure."

"Still got no answer though."

She held out her hand. A half-assed bandage was soaked through, allowing blood to run between her fingers, a drip at a time. He knelt on one leg to rest her hand on his thigh and unwound the old t-shirt, one of Jayne's most likely. Mal fished in his pocket for a handkerchief, which, thanks to years of his mother's nagging, he had.

She sniffed, "It ain't so bad, just grubby. Like me."

"Going for sympathy now?" He growled, watching the blood pool into her cupped hand as fast as he wiped it away.

"Would it work?" Kaylee gasped as he prodded at the ragged flesh of her palm. She turned her face away from the mess and gazed at the workings of _Serenity's_ engine. "Don't be mad. Knowing is better than flyin blind."

"Maybe he coulda said it a little nicer?" Mal dabbed at her palm, rougher than he meant to. He looked around the engine room for something that hadn't been in _Serenity's_ innards. "Maybe coulda listened to you instead of slamming the doors closed in your face?"

"Maybe." Kaylee shut her eyes, trying to close off the image of Simon turning his back on her stunned face reflected in the glass between them.

For Kaylee, talking with Simon was like navigating the Cortex without Inara standing behind her telling her what to do. It was as easy to talk with the Captain as confiding to _Serenity_. Both man and machine listened - both cared that she had feelings needed expressing. The Captain didn't think less of her for admitting to feeling. He only got put out when it interfered with her getting the job done.

Mal walked over to her hammock and grabbed another scrap of Jayne's. That man went through t-shirts faster than Inara discarded potential clients. Mal used the shirt to make a better wrap and tied it on her palm, wincing when she jumped. Intending to distract her, he asked, "Whatya see, Kaylee?"

Kaylee shrugged, not bothering to guard her words, "I just thought he was shy. It probably did feel like a … 'a gorram anvil of delight crushing his exhausted soul.' " Kaylee whispered the words that scored deeper than the slice on her palm. Snatching her hand from his thigh, she stood on her feet. Her smile wobbled, but there was no bitterness, just sorrow. "I been a sheep prancing on my hind legs. Can't be what ya ain't."

Mal's lips thinned. Kaylee could see his jaw working to hold back fussing and false apologies she didn't really need. From bended knee, he tried to comfort, "He may come round, in time."

"Don't want him to _come round_. Wouldn't want to be someone he just settled for. Besides, even if he wanted to, there's River and his losses and who he needs to be again… someday. He doesn't want to forget. He's like you, more afraid of forgettin than rememberin." Kaylee gulped a fortifying breath, worried she was going too far when his eyes squinched up. "Like my daddy says, engines cut you clean and quick when you're not paying attention. Best for me to tend machines, I don't seem to do well with people."

Mal stretched to his feet, not tempted to laugh since she sounded so tired. "Sounds like one of Jayne's plans."

"Not no plan, Captain. Just is."

Captain straightened his shoulders and asked, "Anything else need sayin?"

Kaylee smiled. It wasn't her usual the 'verse is full of stories grin, it was more a it's still a friendly 'verse with interesting things to see, smile. "You soothed me nice and shiny, plus fixed my hand. Reckon you more'n did your part."

"I Just wrapped your hand, didn't fix it. You go down to the infirmary now and-"

"No!" A frown claimed his face before Kaylee stepped back. "He'll be embarrassed or think I'm trying wiles on him. Pretending."

"Kaylee, I got no use for a mechanic what can't work. You need that sewed or weaved. The man isn't going to think you're pretending. Being embarrassed isn't going to hurt him none." Mal's eyes were creased; his jaw was set. The fuss was brewing thick and righteous.

"It'll heal. In a few days-"

"In a few days it'll fall off." Mal advanced. He wasn't asking, he was telling.

Her head tilted to the right. Her glare met his stuck out jaw with wide-eyed force. That flash of anger was as powerful as any punch when she raised her eyebrows."You're just sayin that to make me do what ya want."

"I'm sayin what's true. You got grime in there and are bleedin all over my deck." Mal grabbed her elbow.

"Lemme go." Kaylee yanked free of his grip. Her anger kept the words from sounding as pathetic as she meant them. "Not goin to a fancy party. I'm just greasy Kaylee today."

Mal rolled his eyes and waved toward the door. Kaylee's mouth twisted at him like she was tying words away. He felt lower than Atherton Wing. As she shuffled forward, he snagged her shoulders from behind to halt her. Mal felt Kaylee's shoulders ease into his palms. Without turning to face him, she leaned her weight against his chest. Nestling her head under his chin, Mal put his cheek against her hair. She wasn't going to bleed to death. There was time for her to grieve.

"The man's at war, Kaylee." Mal curled his arms around her. He felt her shudder accepting his warmth, maybe needing it. "Only a low account bastard asks a woman to wait. He gave you reasonable words – not kindly made, but reasonable - so don't blame this on grease. That's just a lie and you know it. Plenty buzzed you and was satisfied with your looks."

"Plenty buzzed, plenty docked." Kaylee's whisper was hard with pain that no weaving or stitching was ever going to fix. "Not a one saw my workins or was wantin me, the inside me, forever. Like Wash and Zoe see each other, ya know? I thought Simon'd look inside seein as that's what he does. But he just sees parts, not the whole. Maybe cause he's a doctor, he looks for the parts that are damaged, not the ones that work good and faithful."

Mal's eyes slammed shut for a moment. Kaylee ached for love - it wasn't hard to see. She snatched at every form of it and splashed it on others with such hope. Her faith that if she loved enough, gave enough, others would return the kindness flew against everything Malcolm Reynolds knew. But, he thought if she ever found that seeing type of love, he might know an emptiness in his life that even Zoe's marriage hadn't inflicted. It would take a man steadier inside himself than Simon to meet Kaylee's hunger and still take all she had to give without buckling under the exuberance of her joy.

"You sure ask a lot of a man, Kaylee." Mal gave her a gentle squeeze.

She laughed, amused that Mal sounded so fearful, "Love is not takin it's givin, Captain. Only no one wants to take what I got that lasts longer than the body takes to cool off."

"This isn't getting your hand fixed." Mal pressed her forward, surprised when she turned on him with panic paling her face.

"Ya won't leave me?"

"Sure you don't wanna face this on your own?" Mal watched thoughts fly across her face, one after another, as readable as the sign painted over her room. The lights draped to point the way to her bunk weren't as bright as the worry in her eyes. Brushing a stiff curl of hair from her face, he gave a promise that would suit them both, "I won't leave unless you tell me to. All right?"

Kaylee silently led the way. She'd said her piece and found warmth if not answers to questions she hadn't the courage to ask. In the common room, outside the glass windows, she stopped. Simon was with the Shepherd. Laughing over some story the elder man was telling. Shepherd Book's stories were many and full of laughter that was kindly intended. She stood there, Mal beside her, feeling her grief turn the corner toward accepting.

"He's a nice man. They both are. Nothing to fret me." Whirling to face Mal, her energy restored by laughter, she patted his shoulder with her good hand. "You go on. I'll get fixed up and get back to work."

Mal nodded, "Take your time. No need to keep breakin things open so they don't heal."

Kaylee rubbed his shoulder once more, trailing her hand to his and giving it a squeeze. When she let go, he turned away to the stairs. As he reached the landing, he could hear her apologizing for interrupting the story but she needed some doctoring. He stretched out his legs so he wouldn't hear more. Helping to make peace between folks was a job he thankfully left to Shepherds.

---oooo---

Inara was in the kitchen making tea while River re-organized a fancy tray. Probably for the doctor, Mal thought. Inara elevated the pot with a questioning smile but Mal shook his head and walked through to the bridge. Wash and Zoe were both seated in the pilot's chair, laughing about something. Zoe looked up from Wash's face, her laughter fading but not her smile.

"Is she all right, sir?" Zoe asked, sliding from Wash's lap but not untangling her arms from his neck as she moved behind him.

"Cut up her hand." Mal looked out at the stars where a ship should be meeting them to take on the cargo and pay them what was due. "Doc is fixing it up. Shepherd is helping."

"Does she know we all heard the man barking at her like it was a sideshow?" Wash groused.

Zoe rubbed her chin in his soft curls. She murmured a soothing sound and Wash caressed her arm. Zoe straightened, her fingers lingering on his shoulders. They were the touchingest people. It annoyed Mal. They did it right before his eyes on his boat like they didn't have a bunk. Somehow, he'd grow used to ignoring it. Someday. Maybe.

"Didn't come up. Expect she'll figure it out – or Jayne'll stick his boot in it." Mal's teeth ground together at that stray thought. Glaring at the empty black before him, he asked, "Any contact yet? I want to off load that cargo and move along."

"Not to mention getting paid." Wash nodded.

"No, sir." Zoe said, knowing antsy tension consumed the Captain when a job was stalled. "I'll let you know as soon as we do."

"Good." Mal said. His lips thinned as Zoe's fingers twined in Wash's hair. She raised her eyebrows at him.

Wash smirked.

Mal huffed and left them to their… _stargazing_. Wandering back to the kitchen, he muttered about romance on his boat. Inara and River were gone. Mal was relieved. Got crowded when there wasn't a job to do. And though he was not curious about how the peace negotiations were going in the infirmary, damned if Inara hadn't taken the open jar of sweetener. He'd have to go down if he wanted to make the coffee decent enough to drink. Kaylee'd probably want a cup, so he poured one for her and forced himself to go back down the stairs.

"Shoulda got me a crew of wobbly-headed dolls – they didn't cause no trouble." Mal didn't grin but his lips did turn up into a mocking approximation.


	2. Chapter 2

The wave from Monty wasn't unusual but his offer was. He'd spotted a wreck near Three Hills just begging to be salvaged, but he had a deadline. Monty only wanted two percent if anything worth anything was got off. A fly-by toward Three Hills wouldn't inconvenience the crew of Serenity especially since Inara had a client eager to 'rough it on the frontier of Three Hills.' Zoe waved Monty with an agreement to meet at Beaumonde in a week at the Scrap King's.

Zoe let Jayne in on what they'd discovered when scouting the wreck. "It's a light weight transport, short-range, supply depot and back again for some Company Town. Looks to be supplies for a General Store. Airlock and clamps are damaged but Kaylee rigged a temporary seal."

Mal reminded them, "Be quick and walk light."

"Just keep your eyes on that seal, Mal." Jayne grumbled as he hefted the dolly. "Don't wanna be space trash when I got me a pocket full of coin I had no chance to spend."

"Is there anything I can do?" Shepherd Book crossed the cargo bay, drying his hand on a towel. Since the crew of the wreck had logged the ship abandoned and scrapped, what was inside was in the fuzzy, kneecap area. He pointed his thumb toward the kitchen. "Food's about ready."

"Actually, there is." Mal surprised the Shepherd with his willingness to accept an offer of help. Captain pointed at the thick plastic foam bonding the airlock in several places. "If we loose this foamed seal the wreck starts driftin, ship'll bust up and not do us any good. Kaylee left her squawk box behind. That girl is sinfully greedy when it comes to scrap parts." Mal glared down the brief corridor leading to the other ship.

"What do I watch for?" Book asked, squatting down to examine the yellowish foam.

"You see so much as a bubble, shout out." Mal stepped back as Jayne trundled by with the loaded dolly.

"Will do, Captain." Book called to the Captain's shadow.

--oooo--

Mal was climbing down the ladder to the cramped engine pod below the deck when Wash alerted him. "Zoe wants to know if you want her and Jayne to scrounge the kitchen or quarters?"

"How're the seams lookin?" Mal ducked under a support and spotted Kaylee's flashlight pointed into the chunky older model engine.

"Thin as when we started. Nothing worse but nothing better." Wash answered.

"Tell Zoe and Jayne to stay put." Mal decided. "I'm fetching Kaylee and headin back. I'm itching all over."

"Never ignore the Reynolds itch." Wash snapped off communications but not before Mal heard Zoe's admonishment:_ Damn Reynolds itch saved her ass more'n once._

Mal stuffed the squawk box in his pocket with a smirk. Wash enjoyed mocking him. Most times, Mal didn't much care but Zoe got tetchy now and then. Mal wasn't above egging it on just to enjoy the sparks. It was just another thing to pass time, like Jayne tending his weapons or Kaylee painting flowers everywhere.

"Kaylee, time to go." Mal squatted next to her leg. Two bags were full and propped near a pile of junk. Kaylee didn't dismiss much as too worthless even for scrap trade. Ship must be in worse shape than he thought.

"Just want this one more thing." Kaylee squirmed out from underneath, a small power board cupped in her hand. She set the board in her bag and tied it up. Her tool bag was slung over her shoulder and across her chest. She took one bag. Mal hefted the other.

"Whassup?" Kaylee knew it was faster to grab crates and supplies than wriggle parts out in one useful piece; it's why she got in the engine pod before anyone else got started. She surely got tired of being fussed at for dawdling though.

"Itchy." Mal stepped back so she could squeeze between him and the beams.

Kaylee looked around like she expected fire to burst forth and consume them. She opened her mouth to suggest they run all the way back to Serenity.

The rush of blood to her extremities squeezed her words away. A grating wail followed by the scream of metal plating ripped free of rivets and supports sucked them and everything not bolted down toward the hatch. Kaylee dropped her bag as her body hurled to the door. She flattened herself against the hatch bar. Using her weight in the disappearing gravity, she slammed the bar down so the hatch shut tight. Released from the drag, she fell to her knees as loose objects crashed to the floor. Gasping for breath, feeling like her chest was being squashed, Kaylee managed to snap the handle home. Her breath caught proper rhythm when she heard the click of the locking mechanism.

The engine room was dark but for the beam of her flashlight pointed toward the ceiling. "Cap'n?" She whispered. "Cap'n? You all right?"

Crawling from the hatch, she paused when she heard a moan. When silence clotted her ears, she felt her way with less caution. "Cap'n? Don't worry, I'll find you. I'll get the light. I'll find you. Don't move. I'll find you-"

"Kaylee!" Mal barked. "Shut the hell up!"

"Shuttin the hell up, Cap'n. I'm gonna crawl over this beam, you ain't under it are ya? I'll step over it, just in case…." She yammered all the way across the engine room to where the flashlight was jammed. She continued to chatter on as the beam of light wavered around the room. It was not because she was scared, she blathered away, but because she couldn't tell where his moaning had come from.

"If you shut up you'd hear me cussin." Mal was sitting a few feet from her, back to the wall, clutching his thigh. He flinched as the beam of light struck him. "This room ain't big enough for me to get lost."

"I found you!" The relief in her voice was brighter than the flashlight. Kaylee drug the bags of parts and dumped them at his side. Unhitching her tools from her shoulder, she knelt to shine the light on his thigh. Blood was dripping between his fingers, running in streams to the floor.

"Oh." She gulped. "That don't look good."

"Don't feel good." Mal rumbled, tearing the fabric to get a closer look with the light she was shining on it. There was a ragged gash about three inches long on the outside of his right thigh. "Something musta nicked me flyin by."

He reared back, hitting his head when she dropped the flashlight. She turned away to unzip her coverall and strip out of her thick undershirt. Tossing the shirt in his lap, she grinned across her naked shoulder at his open mouthed shock. She was laughing as squirmed into her clothes.

"Got no first aid stuff, just tools." She knelt beside him. "Just fold it up for a bandage. I'll make ya a good knot with those." She nodded at the straps from her bag.

"Good plan." Mal sighed and let his eyes droop shut.

"I have 'em now and then." She gulped a deep breath and tucked her shirt over his torn flesh. Her hands shook as she slid the straps under his thigh. The buckling took longer to accomplish, fumbling as her fingers were. She pushed his hair back from above his temple. "You hurt anywhere else beside this knot on your head?"

Mal was beaded with sweat. He didn't make the mistake of shaking his head, "It's just a bump."

His fingers were trying to get the squawk box from his pocket. It kept slipping away. Kaylee snatched it free and placed the box in his bloody hand. She looked around the room, concentrating on what she remembered about what was where. "Gotta be more stuff in here we can use."

Mal's hand gripped her upper arm, easing his hold when she winced. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't remember what it was….

"Like ya said, can't go far." Kaylee shrugged his hand arm away, first time he could recall that happening, but her grin softened the action.

Mal frowned as Kaylee progressed around the engine room. Like a bee hunting for nectar, she dipped under the housing and grabbed something to stick in one of her many pockets. She swung over a strut muttering as she snagged a bitty bolt and shoved it deep in another pocket. She hopped over to the far side of the engine. From her dancing hands across a circuit board, two dinky overhead lights glowed. Her sigh of relief gave Mal energy to smile.

She slowly shifted the flashlight to search every nooks and cranny. Mal watched the sweep of the beam until it made him nauseous. He held his stomach, asking, "What **are** you doin?"

"I'm just looking for … what we do have." Kaylee's eyes followed the light, never glancing at him.

_Liar, _Mal thought, _you're looking for damage that'll suck us out into the black and you think Captain Dummy is too addled to know it. _

Mal tugged his eyes from her movements. They were making him dizzy. He called Wash on the squawk box instead of calling Kaylee on her comforting lie.

"Captain, glad to hear your voice. Everything OK?" Zoe inquired like she was wondering how the weather was across the world.

"Bout same as usual." Mal kept a reasonable tone, though he felt like doing some righteous shouting. "Did the seal break?"

"No." Wash answered, his voice revealing the relief Zoe's didn't. "Lost a seam near the kitchen, whole thing went from there. Can't believe you got that hatch shut."

"We got damage?" Mal leaned his head back. Dizziness and nausea were assaulting him with intent to destroy what thread of pride was left under Kaylee's cheerful scavenging.

"Docking clamp is gone…." Wash hesitated so long that Mal thought they'd lost the connection.

Kaylee flew across the room to grab the box from Mal and demand an answer of Wash, "You popped her port balance pin tryin to hang on, didn't ya?"

"Fried the pin control board too. I got less than half the maneuvering radius and she's heating up righteously." Wash sighed. Kaylee would understand even if no one else did.

"I got a spare pins there, new ones, and Wash, two practically new boards were over here, don't fret." Kaylee soothed Wash with an eager grin he was bound to hear even if he couldn't see it.

"Yeah, but you're over there and-"

"Have a plan for that." Kaylee grinned at Mal. His head was nodding forward; snapping back. His eyes watered with the effort to stay open. Unkindly, in his opinion, Kaylee prattled on, "Cap'n is hurt. Got himself a nasty gash on his leg and an egg comin out on his head. But, I found suits. I'll tie the best parts on him, kick him out the door and Jayne can catch him."

"Jayne can what?" Zoe was sure she'd heard wrong.

"Jayne can lasso the Cap'n like a cow." Kaylee snickered as Mal tried to snatch the box from her. Kaylee had two good legs and remained beyond his reach. "It'll be thrillin heroics."

"Captain, are you conscious?" Zoe wondered.

"He's sittin here madder than ever you could imagine, Zoe. But, he's too botched up to do a thing about it." Kaylee smirked before tossing the box to him.

"Devil woman!" Mal snarled at her.

"That's bout the nicest thing you ever said to me." Kaylee stepped over the pile of junk and stretched to reach the suits and helmets from a locker. "Ooh, look! Blankets and rations! Eeew! Something gnawed on that." She threw something over her shoulder into the shadows, continuing to gasp with delight and disgust, depending on what she discovered. "Wonder what other treasure I missed cause folks was rushin me?" She glared over her shoulder at Cap'n don't dawdle, just grab and go. "Sure hope whatever gnawed this is dead or got sucked out …."

"Kaylee?" Zoe's insistent voice squawked in Mal's lap.

"Kaylee's diggin for treasure. Her greed is astoundin in the current situation." Mal complained and glowered at the woman dragging every blessed thing from two lockers like junk and left behinds was sure to contain the secrets of the 'verse.

"That hatch is below the deck, sir. You'll have to come above the deck for Jayne to grab you. Wash says he'll need time to maneuver through the debris. It's a mess out there." Zoe made it sound like Mal was responsible for that. "Wash will get us closer and Jayne can do his … cowboy thing."

"Fine. Let us know when you're ready. Least it'll give Kaylee time to find more treasure." Mal tossed the box on top of Kaylee's tool bag and closed his eyes, for just a moment….

--oooo--

Mal's eyes snapped open when he felt hands groping up his right leg. His fist shot out but Kaylee ducked it. Her face was pale in the dim light but a smile was plastered on, looking more scared than if she'd screamed. His gun belt was resting on the wrong side of him, discarded on the deck like a pile of junk. Mal reached for it but Kaylee snatched his hand and flung his arm over her shoulder.

"Help me get you in this thing." Kaylee slid under his arm and heaved him upright. "Sorry. Take a breath. Kay?"

He could feel her trembling with the effort to keep him upright and drag the suit on him at the same time. Mal shifted his weight against the wall. At least she'd quit the chatter.

"Remind me to stick you in the hold for a month when this is over." Mal sucked air between his teeth as she tugged the suit over his thigh. "I know I don't wanna listen to you gloat."

"Yes, sir." He could hear the tears even if he couldn't see them. He'd rather she yammer than cry.

"Why's it so gorram cold in here?" He obediently hobbled around to face the wall so she could do the backside for him. The wall disappeared before his eyes in a flash of light then steadied again. _He tried to remember what the objective was. Hadn't the Lieutenant sent the orders yet? …._

"No heat is why." Kaylee sniffed. "Just got atmo and lights for now. That crappy engine puts off a little heat. Need to save fuel. Ain't likely to get a refill."

"Better not need one. Ow! You're killin me here!" Mal leaned his forehead on the wall and wished she'd hurry up before he buckled to the floor, puked, or both.

_His brain was floating in the black…Objective… Just hold, ya just gotta hold on. Angels is on their way, just hold on. No. That's not right. It's Captain, not Sergeant. It's Kaylee, not angels…. independence taken… not won. Never be under the heel of nobody … just get a little further… and find … treasures?_

"Turn to me, Cap'n. The suit ought to keep you warmer and bind you, slow the bleedin some. Simon said for me not to mess with it, just to keep ya warm." Kaylee eased him back to the floor landing next to him; her energy spent. Her cheeks were splotched with tears and grease that resisted cleansing.

Mal felt like his head was going to explode but he managed to ask, "OK?"

"I'm fine. Blubberin will stop in a minute."

He snorted and held out his arm. Kaylee slid in close. He wrapped his arms around her. Tears splashed on his shiny suit and dribbled down to his belly.

His voice was a husky whisper though he meant it to be firm. "You're doin fine, bâo bèi. Got the hatch sealed, patched me up, fixed lights and came up with a plan while I lounged like a passenger on this … fine ship."

Kaylee scrubbed at her face but said nothing. He felt her shiver and tried to pull her closer but his arms weren't obeying him.

"Shepherd had a meal bout ready. Doc'll do his sewing on me and you'll be warm and fed before I wake up." Mal felt his head sliding toward her, heard the shout for a medic from far away, as the darkness washed over him again.

--oooo--

Kaylee had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and one across him when he woke again. His head was cradled in her lap and she was fingering his hair with icy fingers. The smile she showered on him was warmer than sunshine.

"Found some juice." She told him, fiddling around in a box. He tried to sit up but she stopped him by propping a straw against his lips. "Better than room service, huh?"

She grinned and chattered on while he re-hydrated. "Wash'll be ready soon. He's gotta nudge some of the larger debris out of the way so's Jayne don't get tangled on nothing. They're gonna use a tow line since you're likely to be, well, never mind that part."

"Dead weight?" Mal regretted his tone when she flinched.

Somber faced, she nodded.

Mal swallowed. "Don't worry. I won't mess up Jayne's thrillin heroics."

"No warm food but there's some crackers." She held up a foil package.

Mal rubbed at his lumpy head and grimaced. "How long's it been?"

Kaylee shrugged, "Most of an hour. Wash has to compensate for the balance pin and overheatin. It's tricky but he'll get it done."

"How long can he fly like that fore the overheatin screws up other stuff?" Mal closed his eyes, welcoming the cool of her fingers.

"Bout three hours, He'll have to let her cool down with some driftin. Don't dare hit atmo without that pin and board replaced." Kaylee's hand faltered just once, then resumed its soothing rhythm through his hair.

"Good thing you was greedy and got those parts." Mal sighed.

"Yes …." She whispered but Mal was driftin his own self.

--oooo--

"Zoe, get the Cap'n and-" Mal was flailing against his dream.

"Easy." Kaylee held the heel of her hand against his shoulder. "War's over."

"Kaylee?" Mal blinked a couple times. She saw the moment he remembered where he was and what had happened. The creases on his forehead and the setting of his jaw reassured her.

She leaned back, allowing her eyes to rest a moment. "Just me."

"How the hell long-"

"Just a few minutes. Relax." She crossed her arms around her stomach, trying not to shiver. It seemed like forever they'd been sitting there in the dim light waiting for Wash's signal.

Mal reached up and brushed her cheek. She'd taken the elastic out of her hair and let it fall loose.

She opened her eyes to share a secret he probably already knew. "I'm no good at sittin and waitin. Need to do things."

Mal chuckled and tugged the blanket around her shoulders closer together, hiding her clenched hands. "Not partial to it my own self."

"Zoe's good at it. Seems to me she could be still as stone for however long need be, but she can be on her feet and movin in a blink." Kaylee grinned when Mal rolled his eyes.

"Ain't that true." He laughed as a memory tickled across his mind but he didn't share it.

Kaylee wasn't bothered none by that. A pleasant memory was sometimes precious and needed to be held private. Speaking it might take the shiny away. She felt the tension ease from her shoulders. He'd been dreaming and afraid when she disturbed his rest. Now he was smiling and drifting. Laughing from deep in his chest about some gorram idiot with no gorram underwear and holes in his pants flashin his everything at the gorram Alliance…. They were mighty, he mumbled, and the mighty, naked ass, holey pants, empty bellies of independence will never be broken….


	3. Chapter 3

"Heard from Wash yet?" Mal was stiff from being flat on the deck for so long.

Kaylee blinked, disoriented for a minute. "Not yet."

"Give me that thing." Mal stretched for the squawk box.

"Wash? What's takin so long?" Mal demanded of anyone listening. "Kaylee's cold as ice and I'm hungry." 

"Sir, we're moving quick as we can. _Serenity_ is being contrary." Zoe answered.

"What's wrong?" Kaylee leaned forward.

"Overheating." Zoe said.

Wash was obviously too busy to answer and that worried Kaylee. She grabbed Mal's hand on the box and choked it. "Don't you burn my girl out, Wash. Cap'n can eat the gorram crackers. We're toasty as buns in here."

Mal tried not to laugh at the sparks of indignation buzzing around Kaylee's hair. She slid from under him and started dragging things toward the engine. He gave up and let loose the laugh before assuring Zoe, "We're so shiny Kaylee's paintin flowers all over the place."

"Of course, sir." Zoe signed off. Her doubt scratched Mal's ears.

Next thing Mal knew, Kaylee's hands were under his arms and she was dragging him toward the engine.

"Hey!" He shouted. "You trying to drag my leg off?"

"Shut up, Cap'n." Kaylee was worried about her girl and mad as a hornet at Mal. She hauled him as close to the engine as she could without actually crawling under. He was sprawled between her legs, his head resting against her heaving chest, an idiotic grin battling a grimace for control of his face.

" 'Shut up, Cap'n'? Where'd you learn talk like that?" Mal sat forward, fought the dizziness, then heaved his back against the engine. Resting alongside her, he waited.

"Sorry." Kaylee shot back at him. She rearranged his blanket, fussing with it like it consumed every brain cell, to capacity.

"What's got you put out?" He smiled, couldn't control it even if he'd wanted to.

"Needn't make me sound like I'm whinin and complainin. I'm doin my part, ain't the one warblin in deliriums." She put her hands in her lap, prim as a schoolteacher offended by a burp in the third row.

Mal's hand covered hers. "Look at me, Kaylee."

She met his eyes, tried to look away but couldn't. With his smile lazing across his face and the humor lighting his eyes, she couldn't stay mad either. Long before she woulda allowed it, if she'd any strength, a smile flushed all of her.

"They know it's me doing the whinin and complainin." He winked, right before pitching face first into her lap.

Kaylee inched closer, just so's she could keep him warm. She patted his shoulder like a child. "You are a nice man, Cap'n."

--oooo--

When next he woke, Kaylee whispered, "When something happens to me, I want ya to promise not to look on my dead body. Get some stranger to put me in a box." 

"What?" Mal cleared his throat like it might clear his mind. "I promise ya, ain't gonna croak here on your lap."

He felt her sigh through his suit. Her gaze was locked on something he couldn't see. Mal caught her hand as it moved to run through his hair. He rubbed her rough knuckles against his cheek, trying to get her to look at him. That didn't work, so he opened her palm. He waited for her to tease him and smile her tenderness on him. Still she gazed at a rusty spot on the wall, not him. With a gentle tug, she freed her hand.

She fingered his hair, unsettling Mal with her soft-spoken commands. "Promise you won't never take my body back to my folks. Just find me somewhere quiet. And donchya look. Promise me?"

Mal struggled to sit up. She caught him with a huff of breath between them. His words slurred together, "There something you ain't tellin me. You hurt somewheres?"

"No, I'm fine, Cap'n." She grinned, he could feel it – Kaylee grinned with all of her body.

The walls were spinning around Mal. He was sure of it. But he wasn't waiting for the 'verse to quit moving to figure this out though. He shot at her, "I could send ya right on home."

"Couldn't." Kaylee said it lightly,

"No. I couldn't." He said, certain.

Kaylee nodded, eased by his certainty and offering a promise without him ever asking, or knowing he wanted one. "Just like I won't leave. Not _Serenity_. Not you. Not willingly. Not ever."

More confused by the obvious, Mal tried to jump on her train of thought, "You don't want a family gatherin like Tracy had? Thinkin it'll hurt your folks more?"

"My folks already buried four sons from the war. They'd grieve but they know the way the 'verse is. Can catch a virus in the air and die at home same as get blown apart in a war or do something stupid out in the black." Kaylee hugged her knees, rested her cheek and watched Mal. He nearly didn't hear her next words, "It's knowin the gatherin would hurt you. Don't want to be a ghost to haunt ya."

Mal was certain she wasn't telling him something but his brain was bashing against his skull like it needed to escape. He turned to look at her. The pulse of agony running up his leg matched the rhythm of the pounding in his head. "Ain't nothing gonna happen here but thrillin heroics, Kaylee, dong ma?"

Kaylee nodded with a resigned expression he didn't like. He didn't like it at all but he couldn't figure it out … _where the hell were those angels?_

"Cap'n?" Kaylee steadied him before his head hit the deck.

"You're not goin before me." Mal commanded, recoiling from her touch. He was angry but not sure why. Angry like he needed to be before a major objective…._ No, this was Kaylee, not the war. Had no reason to be angry with Kaylee._ Mal snatched at fuzzy reasoning, a thought he remembered havin years ago. "You'll find some nice man, run off and leave me with nothin but the likes of Bester's to suffer all my days."

"No." Kaylee said, not laughing or smiling like he expected. "So long as you're flyin, I'll be there till I ain't anywhere. Promise or I'm gonna tell Jayne you make little kitten sounds in your sleep."

Mal gulped for air when he stupidly shook his head at her. "Gorramit – I ain't givin no promises about you dying."

She closed her eyes, hurt like he'd denied her something vital to keep _Serenity_ in the sky – like he done it just cause he was feeling tetchy.

She fingered his hair from the swelling on his head, smiling when he leaned into her palm. Whispering gently, she reminded him of what she needed to, "Don't look and someplace quiet."

Mal slid sideways, unconscious again. His weight landed on her without warning. Sighing, she let him nest against her. His arm went around her middle, holding on to her like she was his trusted weapon. The tears dripping down her cheeks didn't reach him. She flicked them away before that could happen, determined he rest without disturbance.

--oooo--

Wash signaled he was in position and Jayne was ready to cowboy. Kaylee roused Mal and checked the suit once more. She stuffed his hands in the stiff gloves, sealing them and checking the suit one more time.

Zoe gave instructions over the box, "All you got to do, sir, is catch the ladder outside the hatch. Then ease up. Jayne will be right there. We'll pull you in. There's still a lot of debris, so keep your eyes open, sir." 

"How come everyone's tellin me what to do? I ain't lost my mind … have I?" Mal whined.

"Shut up, Cap'n." Kaylee giggled, "It won't hurt ya none to take an order or two from Zoe. Bend down so's I can fit this helmet on proper." Instead of popping the helmet on his head, she reached up and thumbed his cheek, her eyes bright as a sun. "This won't hurt ya none either."

Gentle as rain late in the spring, Kaylee kissed Mal. Weren't no Dainty Miss, tentative brush of nervous exploring. Neither, was it some Prairie Harpy gasping in a corner, false sounds coverning the touch searching for his wallet. It was sunshine in the black, a rainbow of colors bouncing off _Serenity's_ skin like a waterfall. It was a hum, low in her chest that his heart tried to match beats with.

Mal was stunned - for all of a second. His arms surged around her, absorbing Kaylee's energy. Warmth seeped through the suit, brushing his flesh with a tingle that wasn't nothing like the itch he generally feared. When the need for air couldn't be denied, Mal drew away. Feeling the deck move, Mal wasn't sure if it was the effect of Kaylee or a mind lost. 

Kaylee's strength held him up. He didn't mind, strangely enough, and it didn't bother him that he didn't mind. She giggled, nervous suddenly, "OK? Wouldn't wanna wound you."

His whisper finally cleared lips eager to forget thrilling heroics, "Don't think this means I ain't gonna stuff ya in the hold for a month, bâo bèi."

She proclaimed her certainty with one more brush of her lips. "You ain't gonna lock me in the hold anymore'n you're gonna send me away."

He rubbed his chin in her hair as she brushed against the vein throbbing in his neck. "You **are** a devil woman, Kaylee." The hunger in those words made them an endearment she'd never thought to hear for her own self.

She eyed him. Openly, with just enough held to the side, in readiness, so's he didn't feel trampled or cheated. His lips fluttered across her cheek, inching toward her inviting dimple that would undoubtedly get him chastised for dawdling.

"Try and remember that woman part once your brains are unscrambled." She whispered before inching away. With smirking satisfaction, she slammed and locked the helmet down on Mal's stunned expression. 

Kaylee shouldered under him, ignoring the curses muffled by the helmet, to walk him to the hatch door. It was slow going. He kept stopping to glare at her through the distortion of the faceplate, like he wasn't sure who the hell she was. Kaylee blushed brighter than fresh picked tomatoes. Quick as she could, she tied the two bags of parts around his middle before taking discarded wiring she'd woven together and hitched it around her middle.

"Parts won't slow you down none, but this-" she tugged on the wiring and shouted so he could hear her - "will keep me from being sucked out. All you have to do is ride the atmo, don't fight it, like Zoe said. And stay awake till Jayne catches you - don't get jammed somewhere he can't reach. You **gotta** stay awake."

Mal frowned at her through the helmet. That tight-lipped face with his jaw clenched and the veins sticking out on his neck that Kaylee generally tried to avoid. At that moment, his fussin face softened her gaze in a way he'd only seen her caress _Serenity's_ innards with.

"Zhu ni yī lù shùn fēng, Cap'n." Kaylee's grin mocked his confusion.

He gripped the lip of the door, favoring his right leg so's it didn't crash against the outer wall. She gripped the handle on the hatch with both hands. She blew out her breath and gulped a deep one. He nodded; she yanked the handle back with all her might. She intended to crack the door just enough for him to slither through, but the force of the pressure had more energy than she'd anticipated.

Mal was sucked out right enough but Kaylee was fighting to get the door closed again. And then it was dark cause she forgot to turn the flashlight back on and the gorram circuit board took another surge and closed to neutral again.

Kaylee loosened the wiring from her middle but didn't take a step to reset the atmo and lights. She slid to the floor, hugging her knees and inquiring of the darkness, "I wonder if I should let Wash know there ain't no other suit now or wait a until I know the Cap'n is doped but good?"

She laughed until the echoed made her eyes water.

---oooooo---

**Note on the phrase** _zhu ni yī lù shùn fēng_ : According to koalathebear live journal, this "is a phrase which means bon voyage but literally translates as wishing that the road before you has a 'favourable wind'" She mentioned this phrase on a day I was choking on my own crappy wording. So, this little section is dedicated, with respect, to my favorite student of the 'verse: koalathebear... with all the complementary chocolate that thrill entails, at her own expense, of course.


	4. Chapter 4

Zoe slammed the heel of her hand against the communication button in the cargo hold. "We got him, Wash!"

The satisfied smile on her face evolved to a down right grin. Jayne and Simon huffed by, lugging the Captain on a stretcher. Mal was shouting, flopping around like a fish on the beach.

"Stop treating me like a cow to slaughter!"

"He's being a bit dramatic, don't you think?" River asked Zoe as she followed the men. "I like cows and drama. Mixing them together is just wrong."

Zoe stifled her laughter and fell in step with the parade to the infirmary.

"She told me to shut up!" Mal continued, pointing accusingly at Zoe, "And you! Givin orders like a gorram Lieutenant with new recruits. To me!" He thumped his chest. "Watch it with those scissors, doc, I've grown attached to that leg!"

Simon ignored the fussing and cut the decrepit suit from him.

Zoe raised her eyebrows at Mal but Jayne jumped in with his own accusations.

"Well, you're welcome Captain. Always glad to save a life after a days hard scavenging." He sat on the rolling stool, arms crossed in self-righteousness. He bout fell off the stool when River stroked his head and rested her fingers on his neck.

"He doesn't want Simon to tell him the leg is going to fall off. So he keeps talking." River stroked Jayne's fuzzy cheek with the back of her knuckles, then gazed at her fingers as if Jayne's stubble might have begun growing there. "He is grateful for thrilling heroics."

"I'm able to speak for myself, thank you very much!" Mal yelled loud enough to rattle instruments on the tray when Simon lifted the bandage on his thigh. Through clenched teeth he said, "I'm obliged and grateful, Jayne. Now, stop your cry-babyin. It's disturbing the doc."

Simon rolled his eyes.

"Just weave me up." Mal's head flopped back.

"Yes, sir." Simon winked at River who shook her head, more disgusted by Mal's carrying on than the bloody bandage.

"His brain is trying to escape. Might want to see to that." River left the room. Theatrics was exhausting when there was no reality to it. Laughter was better – it energized. She missed Kaylee….

---oooo---

"Kaylee?" Wash signaled her. Nodding at the Shepherd who came to share the good news.

"Ya got him?" Kaylee was breathless, like she was working on something and talking at the same time.

"I can hear him caterwauling all the way up here." Wash cackled. "Simon is at this moment, telling him what a lousy patient he is." Actually, Simon shouted a few other words than those while Wash spun around in his chair, glad to hear them fussing like spoiled children. If Mal was screeching and complaining - he was doing fine.

"Is anyone there with ya?" Her voice was quiet, like she wanted to whisper but knew the mic wouldn't pick it up.

"Shepherd's here. Why?" Wash shared a frown with the Preacher.

"Oh. Good." Her voice perked up.

"What you need Kaylee?" Shepherd Book asked.

"You know what the balance pin looks like?"

"I do." Book looked away from Wash to the stars, like he expected he'd need to concentrate on Kaylee's words.

"The pins are in the storage locker in the engine room, marked proper. And the circuit boards are in the bag with my hair thingie looped around the knot. Now, listen…." She stilled from whatever she'd been working on. Her voice came across the speaker clear. "In my room, on the shelf behind my dress, is a green book with a couple envelopes stickin out. Don't worry bout those. On page … seventy-three or seventy-five is a diagram that will show you how to install the board. The instructions for the balance pin follows them pages. Jayne'll have to help you cause Wash'll need to monitor the heat. Ya gotta remember to remove the board, install the pin, install the new board. Make sure nothing but auxiliary atmo is going or you'll fry the board and there's only the one. Also, when you reset the balance, you need to give the panel a little nudge to the left –I fitted it from parts. There's resistance lurking underneath. If you don't get a green light – the panel is bound to be the problem, not your installation."

"Kaylee? Why aren't **you** going to be doing this?" Wash waved the Shepherd to silence.

They waited a considerable time for her answer.

"I didn't really lie." Kaylee sniffled, then forced energy in her voice. "You tell the Cap'n that for me, Wash, kay?"

"Kay-leeeee?" Wash leaned forward.

"There are two suits but this one has been chewed up by a rat or something." Kaylee shoved the words out fast as light.

Wash sagged into the chair, relieved, "Jayne will just bring a good suit to you Kaylee."

"There's more." She sighed.

"I knew she was going to say that!" Wash growled at his dinosaurs.

"There's a skinny fissure runnin two feet or so from the main engine support to the rivets at the aft plating. I foamed it with sealant when I came aboard, then when the Cap'n zonked out. I foamed it again when he left. I'm outta foam now. We both know if that door opens again whole pod's gonna pop." Kaylee spoke slowly, so the words had time to sink in. 

"He's gonna kill you." Wash breathed. The Shepherd placed his hand on Wash's shoulder, squeezing slightly. Wash nodded and mouthed the word _bad_.

Kaylee laughed. "There's time for a genius plan. I got atmo for another couple hours and there's no sign of bubblin. I found a torch and some scrap … I might be able to-"

"Boil the damn foam and pop it yourself." Wash leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand.

"Is the Shepherd got the book yet?" Kaylee changed the subject.

"I'm going right now, Kaylee."

"Cap'n gets upset at dawdlin mechanics, Shepherd. Best you remember that." Kaylee teased but the man was already clanging down the stairs toward her bunk.

"Wash?" Kaylee's voice was a harsh whisper.

"Yeah?" Wash twirled one of the dinos by its tail.

"Don't be - I just couldn't figure out how to tell him. He was all bloodied and that knot kept looking worse and he kept dreamin of sorrowful stuff…."

"I know that sound, Kaylee." Wash tossed the dino on the console as Jayne stomped up the stairs. "I'm not mad."

"Tell Kaylee I'm on my way." Jayne waved his large hand at Wash, barely pausing in the doorway.

"Might want to hold off on that for a minute." Wash spun the wheel into a locked position and got to his feet.

"I'll be right back, Kaylee. Don't go flying off anywhere." Wash snapped off her laughter and walked around Jayne. "Come on. You can watch Mal gut me."

Jayne couldn't help it. He grinned, "Really?"

---oooo---

"Kaylee, this is a mighty fine book you've created." Shepherd's voice was steady as a well-tended engine across the squawk box.

"It'll do for learnin. You got any questions?" Kaylee rubbed her eyes. _Serenity_ and her crew needed her, she could bawl and howl later.

"More than a few." His self-mockery was soothing.

"Shoot them at me." Kaylee shouldered the blankets closer. She kept the flashlight pointed at the foam sealing the fissure and the atmo going but she'd turned off the lights and left off the heat. Buying time for a genius plan, she hoped.

"How long have you been working on this?" She could hear him turning pages. "There must be over two hundred pages."

Kaylee had not expecting such a question. "Uh, see, I started the book when Cap'n fussed about me knowing more than he did about his boat. Been working on it for three years now. The envelopes got lists of all I done and what still needs doing."

The first time Mal had locked his jaw and said, _"I need that in Captain Dummy Talk"_ she had been on _Serenity_ six weeks. His anger had scared her. Till she realized he was fearing she was gonna flit off like she come aboard: chasing some pretty boy in tight pants. Couldn't blame him for thinking that or put into words the heartening he wouldn't believe. So she set about it by working on the Captain Dummy Book.

It seemed silly now, but she'd been starving at seventeen. Ready for life to be something besides waiting on work that didn't much come. There **had** to be more than waiting for crumbs to drift into her lap if she sat still enough and minded her manners. Maybe the crumbs wouldn't drift away if you flew with them…. Mal had given her the means to fly, to take her life, 'stead of waiting on it to notice her. And she weren't sorry, not one blessed day had she been sorry. The book had been her childish notion of giving back some of what he gave her. It would be something giving others the means to keep flying.

The Shepherd's voice interrupted Kaylee's wandering thoughts, scorching her face when he spoke so reverently. "I promise to take care of this precious gift, Kaylee."

"Just take care of _Serenity_ Preacher." Kaylee leaned back against the not very warm, but very ugly engine and waited, patient as she could.

---oooo---

"I'm gonna kill her!" Mal was pushing from the scrawny exam bed, shoving Simon's gun hand away.

"If you don't keep still, Captain, I **am** going to dope you." Simon set the gun down on the tray, so Mal would see it was handy.

Mal rubbed his eyes but he was still enough for the doc to resume his weaving. The Shepherd, a book under his arm and a circuit board in hand, stuck his head in the infirmary and gestured for Jayne to follow him.

"Whatcha doing with that?" Mal raised his head but didn't move another muscle. Not so long ago, Simon had doped Jayne, landing him on the deck face first and oblivious. Mal wouldn't put it past Simon to do it to him.

"Jayne and I are going to install the port balance pin and board while you come up with a genius plan." Shepherd nodded at everyone.

Like a reluctant schoolboy, Jayne followed the Shepherd. "We are?"

"Got the lesson book right here." Shepherd Book patted the chubby green book under his arm. Mal watched their boots disappear up the stairs through the infirmary window.

"Wash?" Mal sighed and shifted, restless on the excuse for a pillow.

"Right here, Mal."

"Don't leave her alone." Mal closed his eyes.

Simon glanced up at the monitors on the wall. His concern was eased by the readings and he kept working.

Wash brushed his hand across Zoe's before leaving the infirmary.

"Zoe?" Mal's voice was fading.

"Yes, sir?" She moved closer, watching the Captain's face relax toward sleep.

"It's your turn to come up with the plan." He whispered.

"Of course, sir." Zoe glanced at Simon who shrugged.

"He's lost a lot of blood." The doctor said, "No skull fracture, just concussed. He'll be fine in a couple days."

"Don't got a couple days doc." Mal's slurred words drifted to a snore.

"He's right." Zoe sighed.

"We'll just have to come up with something then." Simon turned off the weaver and clipped the dangling threads. "Kaylee's got faith in everyone on this boat. Don't imagine you'll let her down."

Zoe nodded, "Let me know when he wakes up." She went to talk with Wash and figure out what they had to work with.

Simon cleaned up his infirmary, observing the Captain twitching against exhausted sleep. Dimming the lights, Simon left the restless man. It was time for River's next med and she was probably hiding. It was easier to get River to come out when Kaylee looked for his sister. Kaylee could convince River the med was just some thing to hurry up and take before the next game.

Simon glared at River's empty room. "I couldn't have been a little nicer?" He sank to River's bed. "I am a boob."

River popped from her closet. "Ha! Found you!"

Simon jumped up, hugging his sister as she danced from her hiding spot to him. River's smile was worth being a boob for.

---oooo---

Shepherd Book was elbow deep in wiring and _Serenity's_ innards. The circuit board – once they'd found it - slid out without effort. It had been simple to disconnect. The balance pin itself, had popped into place with ease. Replacing the circuit board was not going as well.

"Have you read this?" Jayne was squatting beside the Preacher, snickering.

"Some." Book sighed, trailing wires across his palm, trying to remember which color was assigned to which port on the board.

"Listen to this," Jayne read slowly, announcing each word with a breath gobbled here and there without regard for the punctuation. "Standing on the balls of your naked feet, place your left palm, fingers toward the bridge, on the housing while you rest your right hand on the center support. When _Serenity_ is humming like a satisfied woman, you can feel the rhythm all the way up your spine. The hairs on the back of your head should rise up like the morning after and your knees should tingle as your toes curl into the deck like they can't help keeping pace with her…. When her rhythm is off, the vibrations will create shivers up to your elbow, throbbing with the energy. Your lower belly will tighten to the point of pain and your ears will feel warm, the heat will travel down to…." Jayne choked on his laughter. "It gets sweatier with each page. Mal ever reads this he's gonna need-"

"Give me that book!" The Preacher snatched it from Jayne. "I need to see the diagram on the board."

"Need me a cold shower." Jayne groaned and wiped sweat from his forehead. "Best be careful, you might be facin more temptation than ya can handle."

"Kaylee was just trying to put her understanding of _Serenity's_ workings into words the Captain would understand." Book plugged in two of the six wire leads.

"Well, if he can't understand it, I sure can! Never knew mechanicin was a sexin vocation." Jayne slapped the Preacher on the shoulder. "She's been out here in the black for three years. For all her gorram cheeriness and entertaining River – she ain't no kid. Mal might notice that someday."

Book frowned and plugged in the third wire. "Maybe."

"If he ever reads this he'll notice." Jayne snorted.

Book sighed and looked up at Jayne intending to chastise him, but didn't. Jayne wasn't mocking Kaylee or the Captain. He was just enjoying the fact he understood this nature of the 'verse - without someone talking down to him or 'explaining' it. The Shepherd went back to work, asking the Lord to forgive him for being surprised by Jayne yet again….

Jayne reached over and plugged the last two wires in, "She draws the blue goes here and the orange there. 'The board is never marked right.' It says – she underlined never, must be important huh?"

"Must be." The Shepherd flipped a couple pages and studied on what Kaylee wrote. "All right, let's figure out how to slide it back in and reset before Wash comes down here again. That man nags without mercy."

Jayne leaned back against the engine, pondering on something. Book didn't rush him. The big man would come out with his thoughts when he felt like it, or not.

Jayne rubbed his jaw. "She meant Mal to find this book after she was boxed up dead. Don't reckon that's right. Do you?"

The Preacher's head snapped up.

"Ha! You already thought of it." Jayne leaned forward, his whisper indicating he was willing to conspire some genius mischief. "Whatcha gonna do?"

"Nothing." Book looked away.

"Nothin?" Jayne sank to his ass, clearly disappointed.

"Nothing that the Good Lord doesn't lead me to." Book drawled out, then laughed as Jayne's grin reignited.

"Can I watch the Good Lord's leadin?" Jayne elbowed the Preacher.

"Anyone can, Jayne. Anyone can." The Shepherd laughed and they returned to studying Kaylee's book.


	5. Chapter 5

Kaylee was cold, barely listening to River and Wash talk and sing at her over the squawk box. Didn't they know she spent most of her time quiet and peaceful with _Serenity_? All this talking was wearing her out. And without cues from River's face, more'n half of what she said made well … less than no sense. Kaylee worried she'd not taken her meds….

"You still there, Kaylee?" Wash asked for the hundredth time.

"Not likely to be anywhere else."

"River got bored and left me – my whole soprano section, just gone." He sounded dejected.

Kaylee smiled but didn't bother speaking. Wash didn't need his audience to comment.

"Captain said to talk to you." Wash defended himself.

"That's real nice, Wash." Kaylee yawned. "Go check on the Preacher and see how he's doing. They shoulda been done by now."

"Sure you don't want me to sing?" Wash laughed.

"Please, not again." Kaylee's sigh seemed to go on forever.

"Well come along then." Wash must have grabbed a squawk box.

Kaylee rolled her eyes and burrowed into the blankets. What she wouldn't give for a cup of hot tea or better facilities than that filthy little room kept no better than the engine.

"Look who woke up!" Wash's booming voice startled Kaylee from her dreams of a decent toilet. 

"Get that gorram thing out of my face!" Mal shouted.

"Kaylee commands me to check on her maniacal and mechanically challenged minions, so it is up to you to speak forth of interesting things. Here. Your turn." Wash must have seen something in the Captain's face to silence his discourse.

"Kaylee?" Mal sounded dry and hoarse.

"It's surely comfortin to hear your voice rather than Wash singin." Kaylee laughed visualizing the slight smile Mal would allow himself. She palmed a fat tear from her cheek.

"Zoe's working on a plan, so don't you be gettin comfortable over there." Mal didn't sound as angry as Wash claimed.

"Yes, Cap'n." Kaylee nodded though he couldn't see her.

He must have put the squawk box against his chest, she could hear him breathing. It was a welcome sound and her eyes drifted closed to better hear the rhythm. His voice became part of her fantasy of hot coffee and chubby strawberries when he spoke again.

"You doin OK?"

"Juss sleepy." She hugged the box and the gentle sound of breathing to her cheek. 

"Won't be much longer." Mal promised and hoped to keep it.

---oooo---

Wash and Zoe came into the infirmary, halting their banter when Mal's frown slammed into them. He was squirming off the exam table, or trying to.

"What?" Wash asked.

"She's falling asleep. Has it been that long?" Mal tried to see the chronometer on the wall.

"Not more'n five hours since we started working on the wreck." Zoe answered.

"Did she turn the heat on over there?" Mal tried to stand but didn't quite make it. He was clutching his head with one hand, the box with the other.

"Let's just ask her." Wash snatched the box from Mal. "Hey, Kaylee? You turn the heat on?"

"Gotta save fuel. Sealant works better in cold." She sounded tired.

"No need to keep it cold as the black. Turn the heat on for a bit. What's the atmo readings look like?" Zoe asked, looking to her husband with concern.

"I pulled the panel." Kaylee offered a defense before anyone could fuss at her. "That panel will bring us a good barter at the Scrap King's. These old atmo panels don't come along-"

"Check the circulator. Is it wheezing?" Wash shook his head at Mal when he tried to grab the box. To Zoe he said, "She's probably re-circulating crappy atmo. She's thorough, didn't leave nothing useful on that crate."

"Not wheezing but sure is huffin and puffin. Yanked the adjuster so there's nothin I can do about it." Kaylee giggled like she'd been drinking her own hooch. "Sure as hell ain't gonna turn the heat on now."

Wash tossed the box at Mal and took off for the bridge. Swearing under his breath about naked boats and overzealous scrappers.

Mal used Zoe to haul himself up.

"I think you should get back on the bed, sir." Zoe almost didn't shove him.

"Try and control yourself, woman." Mal yanked his arm free of her grip and swung toward the infirmary door.

"I'll try, sir." Zoe caught him, then steered him back toward the bed.

Wasn't much Mal could do other than collapse. His leg was twitchy, refusing to obey him. He was also pretty sure someone had put a few of River's brain bits in his skull. That must be why the room looked all … wavery.

"You just stay here and think up punishment for Kaylee when we get her back. We're about ready to go. Doc is checking the tube we've rigged up, making sure it'll hold adequate pressure and atmo. Jayne's suiting up." Zoe lifted his legs and heaved the rest of him up the exam table.

"Wash gonna fly the shuttle?" Mal relaxed.

"Shepherd is." Zoe extended her hands to her side, defensively, "He says he can. No reason to doubt him. Wash has to get _Serenity_ ready to rabbit out of here. Don't want to hang around until that wreck's engine core spews."

Mal rubbed his face, trying to think. "How ya gonna get her to open the gorram door? If she thinks Jayne or the shuttle is gonna get blasted she won't budge."

Zoe tugged the blanket up, stifling her grin as best she could. "One step at a time, sir."

She waited until the Captain's eyes closed before checking on progress.

---oooo---

Jayne got the docking tube from the shuttle sealed good enough to the hatch door. It would hold atmo, according to Simon and Zoe, for about twelve minutes, thirteen with luck. Even if the pod blew when Kaylee opened the door, the pressure ought to shoot them up like a cork from a bottle of shimmer wine. Would be a rough ride but ought to work. Kaylee was as stubborn as Mal predicted. Her thoughts were also slightly out of focus due to the crappy atmo. She would not unlock the door.

Not when Jayne threatened and not when the Shepherd coaxed and not when Zoe tried to reason with her and not when Wash sang. Simon tried to explain, from the bridge of _Serenity_, about the debilitating effect of improperly mixed atmo on her mental faculties.

River snorted like a pig from the doorway, "No wonder you only gets naked on statues."

She stomped down the stairs and clattered away muttering about explaining atmospheric conditions to someone in space like a gorram weather announcer on Boros.

"She's doing well today." Wash noted.

Simon glared at Wash, wincing as his sister's foul words echoed through _Serenity_.

"Just tell Jayne to get back on the shuttle and then I'll unlock the door." Kaylee told anyone who was listening.

"You think I'm a moon brain?" Jayne shouted over the channel, kicking at the door and shouting. "Open this door, gorramit."

"You just want my body. But you can't have it. Not all bug-eyed and bloated and hauntin dreams forever. Just go away!"

"What?" Simon had visions of River and Kaylee trading places or worse, both offering incomprehensible commentary on life in the 'verse and the evils of can labels trying to impose themselves on….

"Get out of the way." River called from the stairs. She was half dragging Mal onto the bridge.

"Zoe?" Mal meant to shout.

"You were right, sir." Zoe answered from the shuttle. "She won't open the door. Something about her body and bugs eyes haunting dreams."

Wash helped Mal into the second seat and reached for the mic above his head but didn't switch it over. He warned the Captain, "She's a lot confused."

Mal blinked, it hurt to much to nod. He wasn't sure, but he thought his head might just fall right off, mingling with dino shrubbery on the floor. Wash flipped the channel over to the Captain. "Kaylee?"

"Cap'n, tell 'em to back off with that shuttle. There's bubbles in the seal. It ain't safe for 'em to hover out there!" Kaylee pleaded.

"Kaylee, you gotta open that door and step out. Jayne ain't gonna leave till he's got you or he's bits." Mal waited to hear the lock shift on the wreck.

"Cap'n I just can't. Please, tell 'em-"

"No. I'm telling **you**. All the time, telling me to have faith in people, you are. Now, you're gonna send Jayne to his death in shame that you didn't trust him. Or is it that you don't trust **me** to tell you the truth?" Mal shoved Simon away from the communications switch. "It's just one step, Kaylee, no one can take it for you."

The lock shifted and Kaylee jumped at Jayne, latching on so tight he nearly choked. The pod held long enough to get the hatch locked. It blew before the shuttle was sealed and there were a few thrilling heroics and amazing flying by the Shepherd. Soon as the shuttle docked, Wash hit full burn toward Three Hills. The blaze of the wreck's engine core left a faint blast mark along _Serenity's_ starboard thruster, the only evidence of a job that got done….

---oooo---

River was swinging in the hammock, humming a lively melody, keeping time with her boot tapping against the wall with each sway.

"They did a fine job." Kaylee boasted, not mentioning the two connectors she had to re-seat or the knot of wires she deftly untangled. "You comin to eat? Shepherd is cookin tonight."

River just kept swingin, an easy smile on her face. Kaylee covered the girl with a crazy quilt she'd picked up on Persephone a few years back, leaving River to her music and pleasant dreams. Without realizing it, Kaylee took up the tune as she headed to the kitchen.

Simon nodded at her as he came up the stairs. "You've seen River."

Kaylee frowned, "She's sleepin in my hammock. How'd you know?"

"That tune your humming, she composed it." Simon grinned and Kaylee laughed.

"Of course." She sidled by him when Jayne called 'em to come and eat.

Simon went to find River. As Kaylee said, she was dozing in the hammock. He leaned in the doorway, thankful for her relaxed state. When her eyes popped open, he nearly fell across the hatch it was so startling to see her go from ease to alert. She rolled to her side and grinned at him.

"If you let me edit your essay, I'll give you a turn in the swing."

Simon grinned. "I don't think my ego couldn't take it, mei mei."

"Too bad." River shrugged, resuming her swinging and humming.

Simon embraced the moments of peace. He closed his eyes and the melody splashed across his weary soul.

---oooo---

"I thought you might like to see this." The Shepherd sat on the stool in the infirmary. He'd been on his way to bed when he heard the Captain, stirring restlessly.

"What is it?" Mal sat up slowly, eyeing the book in the Shepherd's hands with animosity. "If you've brought me the word of God, Preacher, you're wasting your time."

Book shook his head. "I wouldn't give you what you already know by heart, Captain. No, this is the book Jayne and I used to mend _Serenity_."

Mal fingered the thick palm-sized book. "Pretty hefty for a bitty pin and board." The Captain placed his hand over it, near grinning at the Shepherd. "What is it? All the secrets of _Serenity_?"

"More than that, Captain." Book stood up and flipped the overhead light on. "I hope you pass an enlightening night."

"I didn't get a chance to say thank you earlier, droppin over like I did, but I am obliged for your part in tending _Serenity_ and getting Kaylee off the wreck." Mal was at ease with this thanks giving. Not hard to thank a man who was not only talented but generous with his talents. He didn't bother to ask how a Preacher learned to fly shuttles. Wouldn't be no point.

"That's what a Shepherd does, Captain. Tend and get folks off wrecks." Book laughed, "Good night."

Mal was already opening the book in his lap before the Shepherd left the room. Book didn't have to watch, or prod. He left understanding in the hands of the Lord and Mal's heart. Whether there was any elastic left to the organ or not wasn't up to a Shepherd to decide….

"Wode tìan!" Mal's amazement carried to the Preacher's ears as he slid his door closed. Best to leave the Captain to wrestle in privacy.

Mal shook his head, like his eyes were deceiving him as he read Kaylee's oh so careful handwriting:  
_I'm making this so if something happens along the way - I don't leave you like they left you in Serenity Valley, with the not knowing what comes next burning holes in you. I think if you study this book, you'll know how to take care of Serenity like you want to. It's just to get you by, until your feet are stable on the deck and your hands are sure of what goes where._

In the blue envelope is a list of every thing I do. I hope it helps you see how things are connected. The brown envelope has a list of what hasn't been done that should be, as soon as you can. I put them in order. Wash can help you figure out where to get what you don't recognize.

When trading for parts - Take Wash, he's chattery and traders like that. They think they're hoodwinking you cause they're paying attention to Wash, not you doing the trading. I wrote all the proper names of parts so you can ask for them without shaming yourself. Most of it is diagrams or schematics I copied off the Cortex when I got time. You always need to see a thing to understand it.

Don't get discouraged. Taking your knowledge, like taking freedom, is hard work but it's better than waiting for someone to give it to you.

Mal must have read those words a dozen times and made note of the date she set the words down about the third time through. In a daze, he leafed through the pages. Stopping here and there to read directions, or turn the book so he could see the diagram. He kept repeating her name. First it was breathed with baffled mystery then indulgent tenderness, followed by shocked astonishment.

Simon didn't find the Captain in the infirmary the following morning. He was surprised to discover Mal sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a book. The Preacher was there, in the same position – the room like a library, Simon almost felt guilty for crunching on a piece of toast.

Mal slammed the book closed and stared at the Preacher. The Captain's intensity made Simon uncomfortable but didn't draw the attention of Shepherd Book. Mal waited. Simon expected the Captain could wait forever, if he had reason.

Shepherd book finally closed his Bible. Mal's jaw clenched, holding back something he didn't want to say. Sighing, the Shepherd rose from the table and took his cup to the sink. He stopped beside the Captain who still hadn't said a word. Slowly, as if afraid he'd shatter the man, the Shepherd put his hand on Mal's shoulder.

"The universe is seldom generous, as you well know. Might want to think on that Captain." His rumbling voice forced a shiver to run Simon's spine but released the tension from Mal's jaw.

"I'll do that, Preacher." Mal scooped up his book and made an ungraceful exit from the dining room. His leg was still twitchy and now … now his breath felt … tight, confused, like each lungful was just short of what he needed.

He dropped awkwardly down to his bunk and slept for three days. The chubby green book with the secrets of _Serentity_ resting on the floor beside him.

---oooo---

Kaylee was done with the dishes when the Captain came down from the bridge. She headed toward the door and spoke over her shoulder, just as she had for the last week. "Coffee's hot and there's two cookies left. Night, Cap'n."

"Kaylee." Mal poured his coffee; not looking her direction but feeling her halt all the same. He snagged the two cookies she'd left out for him and winced when he turned around too quick. Leaning against the counter, he sipped his coffee before speaking. "Might as well get it over with, dontcha think?"

"I could avoid it a bit longer." She grinned and went to stand next to him, nudging his shoulder with her own. "Go ahead and fuss. I promise not to tell ya to shut up this time."

Mal choked on his cookie.

"I am sorry." Kaylee took the other cookie from his hand and munched without any evidence of regret.

"What are you sorry for exactly?" Mal cradled his cup, gazing at the dark liquid instead of Kaylee's amusement.

"For not telling you about the fissure in the wreck. For not telling you about the suit. For being all confused and arguing with Jayne and Zoe. For taking so long to remember my faith rests in folks I got no cause to doubt." Her face sank lower with each phrase, until she was whispering at her feet, the sweet of the cookie dust in her voice.

"And for telling me to shut up." Mal put his arm around her shoulder and she stiffened.

"Well, I ain't too sorry bout that." She chuckled before relaxing against him.

"Course not. It was the crappy atmo doing the talking."

"Crappy atmo. Kay, works for me." She shifted to move away but he held her still with the slightest pressure on her shoulder.

"Come and sit with me." He nudged her toward the nook off the dining area.

Kaylee drug her boots. "I'd rather ya get the fussin done with me on my feet, Cap'n."

"My leg is throbbing so you don't get your rathers." His hand slid to her elbow and she walked with him.

Kaylee sat down on the sofa. Mal settled on the table facing her. His hands met, palm to palm between his knees, but he didn't say nothing. Just sat there, staring at the shadows on the wall. Kaylee waited. She'd never been uncomfortable with the Captain's silences before, no real reason to be so now.

"Shepherd gave me the Captain Dummy Book." He still didn't look at her.

Kaylee felt her face flush bright and couldn't think of a blessed word to say. When Mal's hand brushed her cheek, she closed her eyes against the look she just knew was slathered all over his kind face. A little pity, maybe a hint of flattered, but none of the flare of heat or admiration she'd seen in his eyes on the wreck. That was probably the crappy atmo too. Her sigh stopped the tears from falling but not the lump choking her throat from rising.

"On this boat," Mal whispered, "No one has to die before telling someone how they feel. Lovin is no shame to hide away."

Kaylee's eyes popped open. She recoiled from his hand with a gasp. She wouldn't - couldn't look at him or listen to his tender words. Slapping her hands on her thighs, she lunged forward and stood up. "Night, Cap'n."

He let her stalk by him. "So you didn't mean it?"

"Mean what?" Kaylee just couldn't turn around and face him.

She heard him coming to her but still couldn't move to face or flee him. Her heart felt like it might shoot right out of her chest. He stepped in front of her, She focused her eyes on his shirt buttons, noticing that one was kinda cracked near the edge…

His hand nudged up her chin. She met his lips before he'd finished the notion. She kissed his smile, enhancing it with her own.

At the opposite door, Jayne and the Shepherd shook hands before turning to go work out with the weights.

"Sure that wasn't your leadin more'n the Lord's, Preacher?" Jayne flung his towel over a crate.

"I'm sure, Jayne." The Shepherd stood at the ready, a tender smile etching creases he welcomed.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Firefly & Characters aren't mine. Money sure as heck isn't mine either (gorramit!). My heart is just dancing in their 'verse for a little while.  


Exchanging Words – 6

Inara enjoyed tea, even in the middle of the night. On _Serenity_, night was a relative term, defined by when Wash wasn't on the bridge or when the majority of folks was sleeping.

Simon entered the kitchen, looking for a snack, and found Inara sitting at the table with her teapot and two cups. He sat down. She poured tea for each of them. Her hair streamed across one shoulder, pooling on the table, near her elbow. She placed a cup directly in front of her, centered as if she'd used a ruler. Simon listened to her breath; the irregular pattern he'd noted when he entered had returned to a calm, measured rate.

"I saw it coming, since the day I rented the shuttle." Inara swirled the cup with her hands, blending the sweet and bitter. Her gaze locked with Simon's, confidingly bright, "Inevitable, the commonalities masquerading as intimacy."

Simon folded his forearms on the table and leaned forward. He inhaled the contradiction between statement and emotion rising from her like incense.

Inara shrugged his interest aside. Her voice was more clinically detached than a first year resident. "She believes her bright embrace of the universe will chase away shadows. She is generous and loving, but it is a mistake to believe that's enough. It's based on the supposition that he wants to live in the light."

"Doesn't everyone?" Simon frowned, disturbed by Inara's barren expression.

"No, not everyone is comfortable in the light." Inara smiled, considering Simon with a narrowed gaze.

He flushed, "Actually, it seems less obvious to remain in the light. People search the shadows, expect us to be there."

She circled the cup with her hands, extending time the warmth within would last. "That's because you're hiding from others, he's hiding from himself."

"Mal isn't hiding or running." Simon leaned back, the spell broken when she glanced away. "He's living simply in harsh conditions."

Inara grinned at the description, "No, that's what you're doing."

Simon plunged ahead, "Back in the day, men shipped out and wandered the seas rather than serve on land. The freedom was a 'siren call' the legends say."

"Romantic illusions to justify the human expense involved in exploration and trade. Convince the easily manipulated there was value in roaming the world for someone else's profit." Inara sneered at Simon's example. "Propaganda to fill the markets and pockets of the titled."

Simon laughed. It landed offensively, like mud from a puddle against silk skirts. "I don't see Mal easy to manipulate or filling anyone's pockets."

"You monitor and observe the physical – you don't listen for what is unspoken." Inara sighed.

Simon's eyes narrowed, concern pinching his face. "Inara, surely you're aware that this assessment is not -"

"I was speaking of poor Kaylee." Inara waved her hand across her cup, redirecting the conversation more brutally than Jayne ever could.

He caught her hand and pressed it to the table. His fingers rested protectively over hers, "Poor Kaylee?"

A sigh passed Inara's painted lips, void of color only where she'd wiped a tea drop away. Her whisper was anguished, "He'll rip her heart out like a Reaver, leaving her flesh intact. She will be grateful for his kindness. But she will never be whole again."

Simon ran his soft thumb along her smooth knuckles. "They've been friend's for a long time."

Inara watched his thumb move back and forth, like a pendulum on a clock. The vein on the back of her hand kept cadence with his movements. "Until you came on board, he saw her as a child."

"The way Kaylee tells it, the day Mal hired her she was-"

Inara snatched her hand away, "You confuse mindless copulating with maturity."

"She's right." Kaylee walked into the room. Her hands gripped the back of the chair at the opposite end of the table. The tension in her knuckles the only revelation of hurt. "I will be grateful and there _is_ a difference, though few seem to know it."

Simon stood up, a gentleman of breeding and habit, realizing he'd been used. Inara had intended Kaylee to believe he was a willing instrument. He sat back down when Kaylee nodded at him. Forgiveness was granted from Kaylee's smile, even before Simon thought to ask for it. He felt like a boob, again. Anger chilled him. Cruelty was an unbecoming shade for Inara to wear.

"I'm sorry." Inara said, her smile a fraction of what it might have been.

Kaylee nodded, no smile gentled her features. Her gaze darted to the opposite door, toward the crew quarters, beyond to the bridge. "Maybe ought to have … tea in your shuttle. Folks walk through here all the time. No call to wound nobody."

Inara slid from her chair, poised. Her voice didn't lower in volume, "Maybe it's better to be wounded purposely than cut down thoughtlessly."

Kaylee moved around the table. Her old coveralls were a patched contrast to the rich purple of Inara's gown, embroidered flowers scrolling down the sleeves. The proper armor mattered to Inara; Kaylee didn't notice. Simon longed for a ceramic suit.

Kaylee's eyes were glazed, like the day they'd played Tracy's recording. Inara pushed strands of hair from Kaylee's face and tucked them behind her ear. Embarrassed by her action, Inara folded her hands together, centering. The color washed from Kaylee's face but she remained unmoving.

"I'm just … worried, mei mei. What happens when he goes looking for his next cause? When he walks away? Or worse," Inara sneered. "When another Saffron comes along. Someone with more … what happens to you?"

Kaylee whispered. "I'll remember that's the nature of the 'verse. Hopefully, meet sadness with dignity."

The crack of Inara's hand across Kaylee's cheek didn't surprise Kaylee. She saw the intent in Inara's eyes, but didn't evade the strike.

The engine hummed. Water dripped in the sink. Simon sucked air between his teeth like a hiss he couldn't control. Inara launched herself at Kaylee. Ungainly, arms, hair and a sob torn from her heart, "Please. Forgive me! I never meant to-"

Kaylee bundled Inara close. "Shh. I know. The 'verse makes no sense. I understand. Shh, please don't cry, you'll ruin your dress…." With measured steps, Kaylee led Inara from the kitchen to her shuttle. All the way, whispering understanding words in Inara's ear, until the shuttle door closed.

Simon placed the cups on Inara's fancy tray and carted it to the sink. He nearly dropped the pottery when he saw Mal standing in the doorway from the bridge. The Captain's face was grim, flushed with anger.

Simon tried, "Mal-"

Mal stepped past Simon and poured a cup of coffee, gulping the lukewarm sludge. "More'n enough said, to my way of thinking."

"All right." Simon set the tray on the counter. "Good night, Captain."

Mal nodded. His jaw clenched tight. No words would escape.

Simon was halfway down the stairs when he heard the pottery hit the deck. He nearly turned around. But, River was sitting on the bottom step, wrapped in a large bathrobe, cuddling a mug of something chocolaty looking. She smiled when he sat down and accepted her gift.

"Rip off the bandage." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Wrong answer, Dr. Tam." Simon snorted, leaning his head on hers. "It's just as easy to soak it off. Less painful and it doesn't irritate the skin surrounding the injury."

"How do you bandage a heart?" River wondered, plucking at loose threads, frayed from hands stuffing themselves into the pockets.

Simon laughed, "You don't. You suture, pack it, drain it, sew flesh over it, but bandaging a heart would kill the patient."

"Hearts _have_ to bleed." River stood up, releasing threads from her hand like snow across Simon's hair.

Simon watched her graceful sway and chugged the pretend chocolate. She paused at the door of her room, looking over her shoulder, waiting for the nightly ritual.

"Brat." He whispered.

She stuck her tongue out then slid her door closed quietly, so no one else was disturbed.

--oooo—

Kaylee didn't look up when Mal's boots appeared a few feet from her hand. She continued picking the pottery shards from the deck. He'd been on the bridge, stomping and cussing, when she came back to the kitchen. Best to leave him to his venting – leaning over steam in an over heated engine could fry your flesh. Inara hadn't heard the dishes breaking, but Kaylee had, felt every piece shatter into her heart. Ached for everyone, wondered how to love folks more, couldn't figure it out and decided to fix what she could.

"Need'nt pretend you didn't hear." Kaylee kept dropping bits of Inara's teapot and cups into a bowl she'd grabbed from the cabinet.

Mal huffed and squatted to help clear the mess.

Kaylee weighed a small piece in her hand before releasing it in the wooden bowl. "There's broken pretties in her shuttle too. Never meant to – she's so soft inside, ya don't see that until she's - "

She looked up, frustrated by the words that wouldn't come out slowly, gently, like she wanted. A bright red spot stained her left cheek. His hand caressed it, thumbing the tears away. He drew a breath to say something but she shook her head.

"Not now. Maybe later when the words aren't boilin mad. Or maybe never." She kissed his palm and went back to picking up the pieces. Asking for mercy as she stretched for a large brown shard, "Don't hurt her back just cause you can."

Mal nodded. Couldn't help smiling at the splash of pleasure in Kaylee's eyes because he'd agreed without a fuss. He tossed another sliver into the bowl and mocked, "Not gonna nag for my promise?"

She embraced his teasing with relief, "No need."

His hand stopped hers from picking up the next bit. His smile was gone; concern shadowed his face.

"If you tell me you're sorry, I'm gonna let ya clean up your own mess." Kaylee muttered. She stiffened when his hand tightened.

He thumbed her palm. She unbent enough to meet his gaze. His gentle, lopsided grin, given despite anger pulsing inside, softened her.

Kaylee shook her head; gathering more slivers with her other hand. "Didn't want to feel as bad as Inara did, so I kept my mouth shut. I'm selfish about feelin right inside, best you know that."

Mal stood up. Hands on his hips, he gazed down at her, enjoying the way her backside moved about as she bent to check under the lip of the sink. In view of … the view, his growl came easily, "Being right inside is worth being selfish over."

Kaylee followed him to her feet. The wooden bowl was pressed to her heart, squeezed between her arms, clenched by her hands. She shrugged, not really looking at him, more off to the side of his face. Mal took the bowl and set it on the counter. He crossed his arms and watched her face.

"You said she was right." He said, "What you mean by that?"

Kaylee brushed her hands along his arms. He opened them to her. Resting her cheek against his heart she whispered, "There is a difference between mindless sex and maturity."

"Seems odd words from a whore." He regretted his choice of word the second he felt her stiffen.

"I'm more whore than she is." Kaylee rubbed her stinging cheek across his buttons, easing the weight crushing him without realizing it. "I new what I was about, just to get a glimpse of the ship."

Mal's sigh journeyed from deep in his chest. "_Serenity_ would tempt anyone."

"That's nice of you. But it ain't true. Weren't the first hot engine I seen." Kaylee lifted her face from his chest. She touched his jaw with trembling fingers, tracing it to the vein that was throbbing in his neck. Her thumb remained there, measuring his hurt with each pulse. "You call Inara whore to remind you. So you remember what you feel for her might be some trick of training she's using on ya. You think Companions fool you into thinking there's something special about being chosen. Whores are honest about what they've chosen. I hear it every time you say it. You only hurt yourself when ya speak the word. It agitates a mess of hurt."

Mal cupped her head to his heart. His rough fingers tangled in her hair, he quietly chided, "I've come to notice you have a disturbing habit of avoiding my questions by distracting me. Not comfortable with that, Kaylee." He caressed his cheek with her hair, inhaling the scent of sunshine that came from within Kaylee, no matter how dark it was. "What did you mean?"

Kaylee sniffed, "You won't never lie to me. I won't never lie to you. And if you find some cause to be on the right side of, I'll tend _Serenity_ till ya get back or tell me to go. Not being seen inside, all that I am, that would be worse than hurtin after…."

Mal put her at arm's length, seeing the glint in her eyes, torn between amused and a pout. "If I asked you to come?"

"I'd never look back." Her hand rested above his as he squeezed her shoulder, relieved. "Reckon you know that. I'm just feedin your prideful ways."

"Oh, no doubt." He smirked, tucked her close, wondering how he'd never noticed Kaylee observing every little detail of him.

"You done?" Kaylee yawned.

"No. I'm still sorting through the lists you and Wash dumped in my lap. Meeting with Monty at the Scrap King's tomorrow. He waved me just a bit ago, eager for profit." Mal rubbed his cheek along the crown of her hair, knocking loose her knot without remorse. He loved the feel of her hair, when had he not enjoyed touching it, her? Suddenly, he couldn't remember that far back….

"Want help?" Kaylee looked up, absorbing the flare of desire before Mal thrashed it away.

"Get some sleep, gotta have you fresh for bartering so's Monty gets a tidy profit." Mal kissed her forehead, gentle as a feather. Kaylee grinned when he drew so quickly away.

"I thought it was real sweet, you wantin to wait till we was on Beaumonde to 'explore these developments' but it ain't easier to wait than I thought it would be." She hauled his face close, kissed him with enough energy to keep him awake through a dozen lists. Swirling by him, she swatted his backside. The action as much as the sound made Mal laugh – though he would have claimed it was a choke of deep offense.

No one looking at his smug grin woulda believed him.

--ooo—

"Where's Kaylee?" Inara asked.

_If she was looking for Kaylee, what the hell was she doing on the bridge?_ Mal thought, barely glancing at her before returning to the clipboard he'd been studying. He flipped to the next page with a righteous snap.

"Mal," Inara breathed, "I want to apologize. I had no right-"

"Damn straight." Mal flipped to another page, and another, crossing items off the list with enough force to dent the hull of _Serenity_. "You walked in on _a_ kiss the other day: one kiss with a bit of heavy breathing. You act like we're humpin in the cargo bay before the Shepherd and every passerby. We ain't even - You made it sound like – and you had the doc there -"

"I was wrong to involve Simon – to interfere." Inara clasped her hands on her elbows. "I am sorry."

He tossed the clipboard on the console, "Kaylee's mighty hurt."

"And you?" Inara blurted out, stepping back as if she could withdraw the force of the question.

Mal shook his head.

Inara rolled her eyes, waving her hand before him, "What are you afraid to say? It's never stopped you before?"

Mal gulped a breath and drew words. "You say I walk away – hell woman, you've made a career of it. You are a Companion, for the length of the contract. Your choices, your contracts, you go where you want, when you want because you want – why would I ask for less in this 'verse? Why would Kaylee?"

"Kaylee?" Inara shook her head, confused by Mal's focus.

Mal laughed as he flopped back in the pilot's seat, propping his feet on the console. "You offering her better?"

Inara rolled her eyes but couldn't stop the devilish twitch of her lips. Leaning on the console, she put her hand on his knee. "Mal, you must see, you will consume her -"

"You act like she's a wobbly headed doll! She has strength. She just uses it different, but her aims truer than Zoe or Jayne. She ain't afraid to show her feelings, less it hurts someone. Freedom don't scare her– only scared of failing folks." Mal yanked his legs from her reach.

Planting his feet on the deck, he leaned his elbows on his knees and stared at his hands. Mal's eyes reflected warmth. Not the, oh so familiar, blazing irritation, more a steady ember that burnt long after the fire grew cold. She watched him, lost in his thoughts. Not plans, obstacles to overcome or working out a job, but … thoughts from somewhere other than his need to remain free and independent.

Inara was stunned. She intended to chide Mal for _his_ wobbly head but noticed Kaylee in the doorway. Exasperated, Inara demanded, "Do you spend all your time eavesdropping?"

"No." Kaylee grinned, "Sometimes folks actually talk with me instead of about me."

Mal snorted, "Well I'm talking _at_ you. Is everything packed up so's Jayne can load it?" Kaylee nodded. He picked up the clipboard to hand off to her. "Finished this list you greedy folks made. Half is for sure. Three items, maybe. The rest… only if Monty is re-married to _that_ woman when we meet up with him and I win the bet. "

Kaylee slapped her thigh with the clipboard, "Oooh, wouldn't that be interesting?"

"No." Mal turned back to the stars.

Skimming through the pages, Kaylee wandered back the way she came. Calling over her shoulder, "Wash ain't gonna be happy you crossed off item number two again. Neither is Zoe."

"Tough." Mal shouted back. "Put some coffee on and thin that list down to a more reasonable length. We ain't rich as the King of Londinium."

"Yes, Cap'n." Kaylee skipped to the kitchen.

Inara stomped her foot. "You two are sickening! Don't you ever think about anything but jobs and flying?"

Mal flipped a switch and Kaylee set cups on the counter. At the same time, they answered, "No."

In a swish of skirts and indignation, Inara left the bridge. Jayne was emerging from his bunk. With every molecule of her frustration, Inara used her hip to shove the man out of her way. He landed at the bottom of his ladder.

"What the hell did I do?" Jayne's plaintive shout rattled the deck.

By the time Jayne re-emerged, Inara was gone. The coffee was done and Kaylee was chirping good morning at him as she returned to the bridge. Instead of his usual complaint about her cheerfulness, he nodded before stalking to the kitchen in silence.

Kaylee set the clipboard on the console with the coffee. She took the second seat and raised her eyebrows at Mal, "I ain't telling Wash and Zoe about item number two. You're the Cap'n, you tell 'em."

"You needn't think you're gonna wheedle me into givin in on item number two." Mal glared at her. "It ain't worked before, not likely to work now."

"Maybe I'll just use my strength, force ya to get it." Giggling spoiled the effect of Kaylee's threat.

Mal's bark of laughter was enough to startle Jayne. He sloshed boiling coffee on his hand. Shaking his hand under the cold water, he muttered, "Laughing Captain's. Next it will be singing and dancing Reavers! Whole gorram 'verse is goin nuts and trying to take me with it."

--oooo--

Inara was half under her low table; picking up glass bits and muttering about syrup so sweet it choked the universe. Wiping her smile away, Kaylee cleared her throat and walked in to Inara's shuttle.

"Is it eavesdropping when ya can hear it clear in the cargo bay?" She asked.

Inara snapped upright. Her face was irritated like the shards were grinding into her soul. Kaylee tilted her head, "Want some help or would ya rather just grouch?"

"Bring me that can, my skirt is full." Inara waved toward the cockpit of the shuttle and sat on her heels.

Kaylee set the can between them and knelt down to help. "Sure were pretty dishes to be bustin up."

"Yes, they were." Inara shook the fragments into the can. Several of them broke against each other, multiplying the waste.

"You found clients on Beaumonde? Cap'n says we might be there a week long." Kaylee scooped small bits with a larger piece, licking her thumb to get the finest dust.

"I'm booked up. All but one day." Inara grudgingly admired Kaylee's ability to spot the crystal shrapnel.

"You gonna stay mad at me?" Kaylee added more pieces to the trash.

"I'll get over it." Inara shrugged, stretching to reach a section of a crystal decanter.

"Reckon it will be anytime soon?" Kaylee crawled toward the bed and fished potions of stemware from beneath.

"I'm not sure." Inara walked over with the can and dropped it next to Kaylee with a ringing thud. Inara sank to the bed, floating back to rest. Extending her arms above her head, she sighed, "Why did I bother? The two of you are more stubborn than … well, _I_ can't think of anyone more stubborn."

Kaylee stretched out beside Inara, propping her head on her hand. "You figure I'm gonna hurt him tragically?"

The smile on Inara's face was easy, familiar with Kaylee's humor that hid a depth of longing. Inara covered her stomach, like she was hungry. "You make it so easy…."

"Good." Kaylee nudged her with her knee and they laughed like children.

Rolling to her side, Inara bit her lip, trying to explain what made no sense, even to her. "You never once said … I never even guessed…."

Kaylee shrugged. "I always thought it was obvious enough."

"But you chased Simon, wanted him?" Inara frowned.

Again Kaylee shrugged. "He seemed to need someone. Cap'n don't. Cap'n just wants."

"And Simon is shiny." Inara tucked her hand under her cheek, watching Kaylee.

Kaylee grinned, "He is that."

"I was just angry you know." Inara sighed.

"No. You ain't angry, except maybe at yourself for caring so much. But … you ain't jealous as you think you should be either. Just sorry for me, worried cause you think I can't be enough…. It's not tragic, Inara, honest. Ain't nuttin but flattered for now. A different way of looking he ain't even sure of yet. Might never be." Kaylee sat up, gazing into the can of broken pretties.

"When I go, will you miss me?" Inara whispered. The ache in her voice sliced Kaylee deeper than false reassurance would have.

Kaylee jerked to her feet, stiff as a beam holding the engine to the deck. "More'n you'll believe."

"He won't." Inara sneered as she sat up.

Turning to face Inara, Kaylee shook her head. "Reckon that's easier to believe. Don't make it so. You warm up the ship with worldly reminders. The things most of us will never have or know – you show us. Kindly, even when we ain't kind. We may not desire those things but they're … exciting to imagine … to just know they exist."

Inara's brows curved low over her startled eyes. Kaylee was supposed to fight back or comfort, not … know. "I – I don't understand."

"You're like … someone else's present at a party. We get to watch them open it and see their joy. For a time, we envy them, want what they got. But, it's easy to see we're too rough for such elegance. Don't mean we don't long to know about the gift, to maybe, want to touch it, just a little, know the pleasure it brings. Don't mean we want it to be gone from our lives." Kaylee scrubbed tears from her face, wiping her sleeve across her eyes in frustration.

Inara stood up, her legs trembling and unable to move with any purpose.

"He'll miss you, **if** you go. He won't say so." Kaylee flinched from Inara's sympathy. "But, I'll say it. So often he'll remember only the pleasure of the gift, not the hurtin."

Inara reached for Kaylee, to comfort, apologize or thank her, Inara wasn't even sure. Kaylee shook her head, smiled and nodded before leaving the room. Inara had watched House Priestesses move with less grace. She had thought such bearing beyond mortal attainment. Where did a greasy mechanic in patched coveralls learn such things?

And would she ever find that kind of peace…or just drift along…companionably contracted, until freedom became a curse.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Firefly & Characters aren't mine. Money sure as heck isn't mine either (gorramit!). My heart is just dancing in their 'verse for a little while.  


Exchanging Words - 7

Beaumonde had one sprawling City; residents' only restriction was vigorously enforced. There was an Information Area, where corporate big wigs from the Core assessed the possibilities of sponsoring settlers to the border worlds. Beaumonde City and the Information Area was invitation only. Inara was always welcome. She mentioned a suite she kept there, parties she held and the people who attended. Kaylee had longed to see it, but never asked for fear Inara would be embarrassed to deny her.

Otherwise, the world was like any other not-quite-a-border planet. There were two large docking areas where markets sprawled to entice the traveler with rare treats. There were pockets of settlers that had been restless for a better life than where they'd come from. Enterprising businessmen with licenses blued by official ink and stamps declaring taxes paid, if you didn't look to close. Some large ranchers did well, most just about fed their families and supported tiny one-shop towns.

Couple nasty viruses lurked on Beaumonde. The number of immunization packets you could afford to barter measured wealth. Those without a boost, indentured themselves in exchange, begged at the charity doors, built up immunities or died. The Scrap King had a safe with a stockpile of immunizations. Only one person in the 'verse, besides the King, knew the combination to his safe and they didn't reside on Beaumonde. Not a one of his five wives, fourteen children or eight, at last count, grandchildren knew it, or cared to. Knowing such things could get a body dead.

King Feron, as the scrap man anointed his forced-to-lay-down-arms self after the war, was squatty; a shiny toothed, hairy man with a booming voice. He was able to tally a bill while guzzling a jug, arguing with a clerk and re-enacting every battle fought by the Independents with bolts and corks. He didn't think much of folks, made no secret of that. Scrapping was delicate work. Most folks passed over the choicest scrap not just because they were greedy but cause they were turnip brained backbirths.

The Scrap King's dominion was a seven hundred acre salvage yard surrounded by manned laser cannons and enough voltage to char a horse to bones for swishing a tail too close to the thirty foot high fencing. The route through was marked with signposts and bunkers where caretakers lived. Those folks, mostly retired scrappers and their young learning the trade, were not just guarding the merchandise they were tending the profit in treasure discarded. Cattle and sheep were run amongst the parts. Chickens and geese and grain grew with vegetables and tough hardwoods kept the birds from nesting in the engine parts. The Scrap King's sustained near to fourteen hundred families and assorted drifters that wandered in and out when they were hungry or near booster time.

King Feron loved Kaylee and cottoned to Mal cause of his Independent affiliations. Jayne was allowed in the compound cause he amused the King. Kaylee once said there must be more to Jayne cause King Feron enjoyed him so.

Wash and Zoe, when they came to Beaumonde, had a little hideaway they snuck off to. Once or twice a year, no one saw them planet side until an hour before they broke atmo. Jayne tried to follow them once, got as far as some scraggily trees and a stream. Zoe blindsided him, left him bare assed naked without even a toothpick for self-defense. Jayne respected their privacy ever after.

Monty was not as amusing as Jayne, loveable as Kaylee or tolerable as Mal. King Feron would rather feed the man to Reavers than sit at a table with him, but Monty took up the cause, wore the coat, fought the battles. King Feron wouldn't deny him. Course, didn't pay Monty even half what his scavenging was worth either. Which, Mal explained to the Shepherd, was probably why Monty had suggested they take the wreck. Kaylee could get three times what Monty could. The two percent off the top would still net Monty more, without risk.

"Probably going to take two days for trading and visiting. Might take more." Mal warned Book. "King Feron likes visiting. Kaylee can't resist pawing parts and bits. Jayne has to hear about every new weapon the King has cheated some bonehead out of. The Scrap King goes on a mite."

The Shepherd laughed. "Sounds like an interesting character."

Mal grinned, shoving his arms into his coat as they stood outside _Serenity_, "You're welcome to come along. No real risk here, City and Corp folks don't come out this way except to fly over, usual riff-raff in the market, nothing more. Mind you lock up tight at sunset and use the low voltage alarm like Wash showed you. Don't want no trouble to come callin. Simon's smart enough to do that, so you're welcome. King's a man of faith, might need the word refreshed a bit."

"Thank you, no." Book laughed as Kaylee drove out with the mule fully loaded. Jayne was squeezed in the cart, trailing behind, complaining about her driving.

"Quit your belly-aching." Mal shouted, "I'm driving."

"Shepherd, you comin with us?" Kaylee jumped over to the passenger seat.

"No, I'm working on a new recipe." He stepped back.

"There's a fresh market over by that red tent." Kaylee pointed to the marketplace on the other side of the docking spaces. "Mr. He, has a green striped canopy, grows respectable sized vegetables and he don't dye 'em. His cousin has fruit and spices. Don't go near Bailey's, she has bad scales and spits in the flour."

"Thank you, I'll be sure and check it out." Book nodded.

Mal leaned forward, "You got coin?"

"Some."

"Kaylee, dig in the purse." Mal tossed a bag in her lap, "Shepherd if you don't mind shoppin, we'd be obliged. Save time and you do have a way with food that is actually edible."

"Be pleased to." Book took a stack of coins and nodded at Kaylee's grin. "Maybe find some strawberries."

"That'd be shiny. And chocolate for the doc and River. Makes the meds go down easier and gives Simon pleasure. Inara loves fresh salad, Wash is partial to-"

"Kaylee, the man has been eating at our table and heard every one of us moaning over what we don't got." Mal laughed. "If he can't recollect it, he's most likely dead."

"Good bartering!" Book called as they drove off.

River sat on Kaylee's chair, the umbrella wired to the chair offering her a shady spot. She was putting her boots on. "Shopping!"

Book looked to Simon who was smiling indulgently. Doctor held out his hands and said, "You try and stop her."

"Let me get the cart, River. Then we'll go." The Shepherd patted Simon's shoulder as he went inside.

"Come with us." River spoke across her shoulder.

"I'm going to sit here, read a book and do nothing. Not even sweat." Simon patted a slim book under his arm. "You trudge around sniffing fruit and vegetables."

"Lazy." She grinned.

"Brat."

"Not time for sleeping!" She jumped up, pointed at the sun.

Simon stepped forward, instantly concerned. He caught the glint in her eyes and groaned. "You are such a brat."

"Love you too." She waved him toward the chair and paced anxiously until the Shepherd returned with the cart and a broad rimmed straw hat for River.

"No one will think anything of that hat at a market." Book was mindful of the risks but not one to hide if there was no cause to.

"C'm'on." She hooked her hand through his arm and tugged him toward the market.

"Have fun!" Simon slid his tinted glasses on his face, opened his book and slouched comfortably into poetry. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been alone, peacefully alone.

--oooo—

King Feron's castle was actually an elaborate bunker built into a hillside. There were rumors that tunnels ran beneath the kingdom but he denied that. "Too gorram expensive to fortify tunnels and guard them."

There was a storefront above, but it was just for the tax collector and rubes. Inside the bunker, King Feron had a rich, welcoming home. Pillowed furnishings, carved tables, tapestries and subdued lighting that Inara would have coveted. His dining room could hold over two hundred, but most generally, he used a side table for family or company.

A discreet gentleman waited on the table, tended cups and just about every coin that dropped into the King's pocket. The King had bartered him from some City business for generator parts. Fess served out his indenture then chose to stay on, stockpiling his share of profit for a range of services rendered.

Monty's beard was near to his chest, covering most of his neck. Mal didn't resist givin him grief over the puny strands claiming to be a soup catcher, or the reason for it's pathetic state.

"Least ya didn't get put near to rest in your own gorram bunk." Jayne sniggered and reached across the table for a hunk of bread.

"Barbarian!" Fess hissed and snapped Jayne's shoulder with a towel.

Monty jumped on Jayne's comment with both boots; grinding the details from Jayne until Mal's jaws glowed red.

Monty and Mal continued to trade insults concerning their lack of discernment of a devil woman. Moving on to women with devilish skills they'd known or wished they'd known. Jayne could hold his own when it came to heroic tales of trim.

The liquor flowed. Jayne and Monty were having trouble holding on to their chairs before the night had settled on the sky. When they began singing bout naked women, Kaylee excused herself.

"Mind if I walk with you, Miz Kaylee?" King Feron asked. He shoved himself to his feet and buttoned his jacket across his pudgy center.

"You just wanna talk me down on that stabilizer." Kaylee laughed, flinging her poncho on. "Won't work."

"You coming Malcolm?" The scruffy King asked. His scarred lip curled in disgust as Monty and Jayne elbowed each other, cackling like hens.

"If I leave 'em they're likely to cremate themselves with your fat cigars." Mal leaned back in his chair, comfortably fed and relaxed. He did raise his brow at Kaylee, "That stabilizer cost us plenty to fetch. No one's likely to forget that."

"Won't be long." Feron was a foot shorter than Kaylee, but he offered his elbow like he was a giant and she a queen.

Kaylee was escorted up the main staircase to the 'garden.' King Feron had a son who welded and manipulated truly worthless scrap to beauty. His daughters wove winking lights around the sculptures. At night, it was like the stars had settled for a rest on the world. A round disk with thick cushions was centered in the garden. Kaylee never tired of sitting there, watching the lights reflected on metal twisted in ways it never would have occurred to her could be the least bit pleasing.

"I like the new one." She pointed. "Nevis has a fine touch with the torch."

"See that fin?" A chubby finger pointed, "That was the plating you found us last year. Nevis loved the warping and added the floppy parts from a bell he hacked up. When it rains, you can still hear the tones like the whole bell is hanging out here. Drives me nuts."

Kaylee laughed. "Maybe need to make a canopy for it. Nevis wouldn't want you more nuts than ya already are."

"True but the grand children would whine. That's worse. Guess I'll just have to live with it." King Feron sighed dramatically and flopped down next to Kaylee. "How's your folks?"

"They're doing fine. How's the business?" Kaylee swung her legs, watching the breeze shift the little lights around a whirly sculpture.

"Always profitable. When you gonna quit flyin with that ham fisted, blind man and come work for me? I'd pay better for your delicate touch and you'd have your own bird to fly, own crew to tend it." He swung his feet in cadence with hers.

Kaylee crossed her arms under her poncho. "You know I ain't interested, rather tend _Serenity_ than anything else."

Distracted by the sight of a dozen men rushing toward his bunker, King Feron stood up. "Hmmm, Best see to this before I cheat ya out of that stabilizer."

He waddled his way through the garden, calling out to the tall man who turned to meet him. Kaylee shrugged, something was always going on here, it's why she enjoyed the visiting so. Snuggling into the cushion, she tucked her poncho closer and watched the lights dance around her. Nevis sure gave God a run for his money when it came to creating a 'verse from scrap.

--oooo—

A tall and slim man, wiry blond hair and well-tended working clothes, rested his rifle across his shoulder. He was easy in his stance but uncomfortable imparting information to King Feron. "Ty is back. He's hot and bothered and wandering through the treasure. We got the word out but I thought you'd want some extra men here."

Mal stepped from the shadow; hands extended so's not to disturb the healthy agitation of King Feron's men. "Trouble?"

"Just a boil on my ass." The King shrugged. "Set up the perimeter. Make sure there's extra firepower for escort inbound. Otherwise, let the bastard wander in the night. Less he's threatening folks or property, leave him be. Got me? No reason to blast his twisted brains out if'n we don't gotta. Man served, deserves better than this shit."

"Yes, sir." Slim said before issuing orders and moving off to do as he was bid.

"Best go fetch your gal." King Feron pointed with his chins toward the garden. "We'll be locking it down soon."

"I got people at the docks. If there's trouble brewing-"

"If there's trouble, it'll all be here. Just taking precautions." Feron dismissed Mal's concern. "Kaylee's sitting out there on the stargazer seat. Best fetch her like I told you."

Mal frowned, feeling an itch crawling up his back.

"More'n enough room, Captain, nothing to change your plans." King Ferdon grinned like he held the secrets of the 'verse. Several women with small babes rushed by and down the stairs. He went to the top of the stairs and called down, "Get Fess to fix Captain Reynolds and his folks some rooms. Oh, and get some coffee going. I need those lazy ass boys passed out on my table sober. Yester-gorram-day!"

Mal didn't wait to hear the rest but went to find Kaylee. Another dozen women rushed through the garden, hushing and hurrying small children along. Some elderly men and a granny on a rolling cart followed them.

Kaylee's greeting faded away when she saw Mal's face. "What's wrong?"

"Got no idea, some trouble headin this way, King needs to lock it down. Come on."

Kaylee took his hand, hopping and then running to match his stride toward the bunker.

--oooo—

Kaylee was sitting on a sofa bouncing a fretful baby, squeezed in between several others doing the same. Men and women were scattered in the room, all the chairs at the table and the sofas and chairs edging the room were filled. More folks spilled out to the large hall and children ran up and down the steps, giggling and squealing. Jayne and Mal were standing behind the sofa, not pleased. Monty was at the large table, sympathetic but not concerned.

King Feron swirled his coffee in a chipped mug. "Ty's served well but got a mite touched in the head. We all came home, tails 'tween our legs and sick to our souls at what'd been done whilst we was gone. Took the best of Beaumonde for themselves, gorram purple bellies, left nothing but the gravel and gullies for the rest of us. His wife, Rosa, couldn't barter a booster. Died whilst we was gone. Ty couldn't accept it. Convinced she's hiding out or taken prisoner or worse. He chased rumors of missing women till he liked to starved to death paying for info instead of eating."

"Seen it happen." Monty shook his head, gulping more coffee before holding his mug out to Fess for a refill. "Can't tell 'em no different."

"No, you can't." Feron nodded, "Few years back, Ty hired on as a gun and hit the black chasing slavers. Helped save a couple boatloads of folks hauled off to some outer moon. But, they say his crew got ambushed and he went off looking for Rosa again."

"His family ever own property out this way?" Mal asked.

An elderly man spoke from the table without bothering to turn around. "His great grand pap held papers on land out near the thruster field. Ran some wire-haired sheep in the gravel and weeds till he dropped dead of some mutant virus. Back when the boosters didn't come so regular."

"Reckon he's headin for home?" Jayne lifted a small boy's hand off his sidearm and growled at him: "Scat!"

Little boy shot away, running for the doorway to boast of his bravery.

"Good as guess as any." The King shrugged and shooed children from under the table. "Merry, get these people bedded down in the South Dorm. All these children running about, one of 'em's liable to shoot us all in the ass. Fess, settle our guests."

Monty stood up with the King. "Reckon you need some help? I go to bed now, will just wake up with a sick head later. No use to you then. Got a couple good men with me if you need 'em."

"You can stand watch at the West Cannon if you've a mind to." King Feron fingered his chins. "Send your spare men to the North Volts. You send the boys at the Cannon down for a feed and sleep – say six hours?"

"Fine by me. Jayne, feel like watching the sunrise and telling me more about ole Mal kissed near dead?" Monty swigged the last of his coffee and shrugged into his coat.

"Might as well. So gorram much coffee in me now I'd float out of the bed." Jayne looked to Mal, not moving till he was certain there weren't other orders to follow.

"You got everything locked up?" Mal asked.

"Do." Jayne nodded.

Mal nodded. "Let me know when you get back. No call to get involved in this business. We did the job, get paid and get out. We can visit another time."

"Fine with me." Jayne squeezed behind Mal, jerked to a stop by Kaylee's hand fisting in his jacket.

"You be careful." She told him.

Jayne slapped at her hand and flexed his shoulders, "I'm always careful. Others that ain't."

Mal glared over his shoulder at Jayne. The man moved right smart, following after Monty and the King. Feron was telling them how to find the West Cannon and the password to shout to keep their brains from being splattered in the dirt.

Kaylee handed the baby to her mother, dismissing thanks. She used the edge of her damp poncho to wipe drool off her arm. Mal tossed a handkerchief into her lap, surprising a laugh from Kaylee.

"You finished trading?" Mal tugged on the poncho so Kaylee could wriggle free.

"All but item number two and sundry shopping," She wiped at her middle. The damp had seeped clear through.

"If you'll come with me, I'll show you to your suite." Fess appeared like a shadow at Mal's side. "I will get this cleaned for you Miz Kaylee."

" 'Fraid that baby was drippin from his drawers." Kaylee took the poncho from Mal who jerked it to arm's length as if it were toxic waste.

They followed Fess into the hall and paused to wish King Feron a restful night.

"It was lovely evening." Kaylee held the offensive poncho wadded to her stomach, covering the stain on her coveralls. "Food so good and pleasant company, King Feron. Don't forget to tell Nevis how beautiful I thought his new art is."

King Feron kissed her cheek and Kaylee blushed when his nose wrinkled over the poncho.

"Hospitality in the Core is puny compared to yours, King Feron." Mal offered his hand and the King took it.

"True." Feron snickered. "I'm sorry not to be able to offer you but a humble suite, in the East Wing, but you'll be comfortable."

"Just be sure and send Jayne to me when he gets back. Want to finish business before this rogue takes a chunk of you and Nevis turns our profit into art." Mal nodded.

"If you prefer, Captain Reynolds, Kaylee and I could conclude business now. There's nothing needing my immediate attention." King Feron's face drew deep, his chins rippling with offense.

"Morning, after breakfast, will be soon enough, King Feron." Mal assured the chubby potentate.

"I'll have Jayne sent to you as soon as I know you've had breakfast, then. Show them the way, Fess." King Feron winked at Kaylee.

"What's all that about? You two cookin up crime?" Kaylee asked.

"Hush, bâobèi." Mal whispered, watching the heat wash over her neck and up her face with a pleasure he'd forgotten – or thought he had.

--oooo—

"Oh my….!" Kaylee squealed and planted herself a foot inside the door with her mouth hanging open. Her voice dropped to a disappointed whisper. "Oh – this is a mistake."

The 'suite' was more than Kaylee could take in, though her wide eyes and open mouth tried. There were soft, colorful furnishings, a low table with tapers wavering from the air breezing in when the door opened. Goblets attended red wine in a cut glass carafe, enhancing the flickering light. Beyond the large room, a bathroom, Zoe would slaughter a dozen or more to soak in, was shrouded in a fog of steam. A spicy scent mingled with Kaylee's shock.

"A mistake." She shook her head, closed her eyes against such opulence and spun around to confront the truth. She crashed into Mal who steadied her. Confused, she noted the door was closed and Mal was grinning at her.

"No mistake." He kissed her forehead before taking the poncho from her clutches. "Go jump in the water. Fess put your things in there. I'll toss these out to him." He ran a finger under her collar.

Kaylee nodded but didn't move, just stared at Mal like she'd never seen him before. Mal brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. His entire face clenched for a moment, then relaxed.

"There's a room across the hall." His voice reached her heart, soothing, promising more than passion, giving respect. "I can take it, easy as you say."

"No!" Kaylee grabbed his hand, gripped it tight between both of hers. "No, it's just … a … a surprise. A shiny, shiny surprise. Honest. This, it's … No. Please. Don't go."

Mal kissed first one hand, then the other before wriggling his free. The pleasure her babbling gave him was warmer than the steam. His gentle smile wrapped around her; caught her breath. He stepped back, his voice a husk of itself, "Go on; enjoy the bath."

"Are ya trying to not say I smell like yesterday's diapers?" Kaylee backed away, stumbled against a rocking chair and jumped half a foot.

Mal gripped his chest, "Would I say such a thing?"

Relief flooded Kaylee. She turned toward the bathroom, spun back around and startled Mal with her bold words. "If I didn't smell like yesterday's diapers, would you -?"

Mal tossed the poncho aside and marched to her. She didn't retreat or advance, but waited. When he touched her shoulder, she laced her arms around him. Meeting his surety with defiance of her fears, they found her stench unnoticeable. Both of them forgot Fess waiting in the hall until the door chime interrupted them.

"Uh, Cap'n?" Kaylee breathed into his ear.

"Hmm?" Mal's lips were trailing her collarbone.

"Hmm?" She sighed.

The door chimed again and Kaylee gasped, "Oh, it's just the door."

Mal drew a short distance away, cupping her face between his hands. No smile, he searched her face, concern creased his forehead. Kaylee forgot what she'd been thinking when his thumb teased her lower lip.

"There's a bath," she breathed, joy radiating like a sun. "Wanna share?"

"Good plan." Mal followed her. With the heel of his boot, he kicked the door closed.

Hours later, Kaylee crept from the suite, not quite closing the door. She was draped in a short satin robe with a tie trailing lopsidedly down her left leg. It was a toss up who was more startled, her or Fess. Her clothing and poncho landed on the floor when Fess launched from the chair he'd propped against the wall. His book followed her clothes with a thud.

Kaylee bent to gather the clothing, but Fess waved her away. "Please, Miz Kaylee, I'll take care of this."

"What are you doing out here?" Kaylee hissed.

"King Feron assigned me to ensure you remained undisturbed by that barbarian." Fess blushed redder than the wine on the low table.

Kaylee shoved damp hair from her face and whispered, "It wasn't a trick was it? King Feron - he didn't-"

Fess draped her poncho and coveralls over his arm, like the finest linen to hide his smile. He patted her shoulder awkwardly, "Captain Reynolds asked for the best room in the palace and one closet for himself, just in case."

"I think - someone else can have the closet, Fess. Night." Kaylee danced like a blossom waving in a summer breeze. She threw the locking bolt and the King's right hand man went to deposit the stinking clothes with the laundry man.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Firefly & Characters aren't mine. Money sure as heck isn't mine either (gorramit!). My heart is just dancing in their 'verse for a little while.

Exchanging Words – 8

Once he found his pants, Mal stalked to the door of the bedroom where light winked. The candles were mostly gone but Kaylee _was_ there. Mal felt the tension released from his shoulders. Though he thanked no god, he breathed easier.

Her back was supported by one of the sofas; hair spread about her as she leaned into the cushion, eyes closed, a soft smile on her face. As if expecting him, Kaylee raised her head, "Hi."

Mal crossed the room. Dropping down next to her, he found her hand in his without caring who reached first. He nudged her with his shoulder, "You got something against sleepin?"

"Not specially, no." Kaylee leaned toward him.

He could feel her chilled and frowned. "What you doing out here?"

A chuckle slipped from her across his abdomen, like a feather. Shrugging, she confessed, "I was listening to the generator, trying to decide if it is an 850 or a 950."

Mal choked over the endearment he had expected… or hoped for. Shaking her hand, he complained, "My ego ain't going to get much stoking from you is it?"

Kaylee wriggled around, ended up in his lap dripping kisses along his collarbone. "Don't. Reckon. Ego. Needs. Fuel."

Mal untangled her arms from his neck. Holding her still, not willing to seek pleasure when something nagged at him.

Her frown mutated to concern. "You want me to tell ya it was shiny?"

"No." He softened his harsh bark by caressing her cheek, "Just like you to stay or wake me when you leave."

Kaylee's smile was born again. Her fingers traced his ear, made gooseflesh cover him. "Couldn't take it all in."

"Woke up with that same feeling, only you were gone." He nudged her chin so he could see her face. Smiling, searching her face, he asked, "Okay?"

"Shiny as can be Cap'n, a-okay." Her teasing traveled to her fingertips, brushing the edge of his jaw. "You?"

Mal cleared his throat, "Other than the water in my ear, I'm right fine."

Her laughter was a caress no less potent than the hand kneading his shoulder. Nibbling at his ear lobe, she whispered, "It was worth waiting."

"I wasn't being – just wanted something special, is all. Maybe something to remember." Mal sighed.

"Special is nice. Never been treated so special…. Never." She felt the shiver fly up his spine, pulsing under her restless hand. He swallowed, twice; his jaw clenched. The tension would not ease under her hand.

Kaylee held her breath, waiting for him to say something. When time moved along, she felt the cold of the floor against her feet for the first time. She slid from his lap and poured some of the wine they'd yet to taste. Without looking in his direction, she handed a goblet to him and one for her. He set his aside, on the floor, watched her so intensely she knew she was blushing.

Gulping the dry flavor, Kaylee felt the wine flowing down her throat, fermenting in her stomach as a noose of emotion choked her. Blinking rapidly, she considered retreating to the bathroom and dressing. The closet was probably unoccupied she could take it. When he stretched on the floor, looking up at her, she tried to smile so he could say whatever was plaguing him.

His hand reached toward her but dropped to his chest when she flinched. "Kaylee?"

She shook her head. If she opened her mouth she knew she'd die of shame.

"You sorry?" He whispered. It was a harsh gasp tormenting the ends of her hair.

"God no." Kaylee gulped, stunned by his question. "Just, thought …"

He waited. Even if he couldn't fix it, he wanted to know. Better to just know….

"I never done special… or after." The words shot from her. Heat scorched her face as she jumped to her feet. Circling the table to kneel on the other side and light a fresh candle. Her hands shook so that it took several tries. In a rush, she forced laughter as she had the match, "Always been just the moment and then leaving. After was sneaking back in the house, not gettin caught. Pretending, smiling at everyone like nothin happened is… after."

Mal crawled around to sit behind her. Arms wide, allowing her to decide if it was where she wanted to be. She sighed back against him, nesting her head against his chin.

There was no mocking laughter or teasing, like she'd expected. Warmth radiated from him in little puffs of breath stirring across her shoulder, resting between her breasts. She no longer felt frozen.

He rubbed his cheek along hers. Breathing light against her neck, "I'm sorry."

Kaylee covered his hands linked across her stomach with one of hers.

"I don't share intimacies and then chuck a woman out. If she's held in passion, she's held in rest." He squeezed her middle for emphasis, chuckling. "But, I shoulda asked."

She nodded, "Just so nice. Being close."

"It is." He bent his knee, squirming to hold her closer.

"Did you ever … think on it?" She fingered his hands. Tracing the lines in his flesh, following the veins across his wrist.

"More'n the last week that's for sure." His laughter felt right. Like it had been resting, gathering strength.

"Seems like forever. Forever, not even hoping. Letting things be what they were, enough." She thumbed his elbow.

"Time moves along." Mal smiled. He could feel the heat of her blush beneath his chin.

"If I'd known, about special and after, might've said sooner." Kaylee pinched his thigh then left her hand there. It rested, still, absorbing his ease. Learning it.

"Maybe best ya didn't." He felt her stiffen but didn't let it bother him, "Something's best left to discover along the way. I used to watch you, watching Zoe and Wash. Worried you'd wander off at some dock – looking for that. But, watching you, saw them, even when I didn't wanna. Zoe made her peace and moved on. That's right. Made me want to do the same. It ain't gonna be easy, Kaylee-girl. Not gonna lie to you.'

She nodded. "Rather know."

"I'm giving ya sweet words and you're gonna start crying?" He pinched her breast, making her jump and laugh.

Didn't do no good. Tears were running in streams down her face. She rubbed at them but they just kept pouring down. His arms moved from her waist to shift her but she resisted.

She gulped, bending forward, hiding. "Please."

"Please?" He nudged her about. Felt tears running down his chest like rain, traced her spine through the silk with his fingers.

She whispered into his neck, "Let's go back to bed."

"Sure I won't drown?" He chuckled.

The pulse in his throat pounded against her lips. She felt the hitch in his breath when she pressed closer. Lifting her face, she pushed hair from her eyes.

Her gaze was earnestly open, full of want and need and desperation to give, Mal thought he might never see anything the same again. She didn't smile but her eyes glowed with understanding that stepped beyond fear.

"No guarantee in this 'verse." She whispered.

He wiped her cheeks. His hands trembled, pink flushed his face when he whispered, "You might wanna work on them wiles."

Kaylee licked her lips, brushing his thumb with the tip of her tongue and the distance between them disappeared. Gulping for air, Kaylee's fingers grazed Mal's temple, racing through his hair and drawing away – grinning. "Really think I need to work on my wiles?"

Mal dumped her from his lap and surged to his feet. Kaylee followed. He captured her hand and backed toward the bedroom, lopsided smile on a flushed face enticing her to keep following. "Reckon you don't need no wiles."

Kaylee stumbled. He couldn't have planned to say something nicer, not in a thousand years. Delighted, she ran past him to jump into the middle of the bed. Squealing when he landed right next to her. She caught his face in her hands before he could progress further. Her smile lit up the room even after the candle gutted out.

"Notice you stopped blubbering." Mal boasted.

"That all you notice?" Kaylee whispered, breathing while she still could.

--oooo--

Mal woke, twined with Kaylee, and starving. She didn't twitch when he combed his fingers through her hair. He wanted to kiss her again, and then maybe again. But she was backside against him and he couldn't see her. The room was dark as space.

"This is nice." She rubbed her cheek against his arm.

"Except for the fact my arm is asleep, yeah, I agree." He tugged his arm from beneath her. Grinning, stupid idiot grin, he was sure - didn't care.

Shoving herself from the bed, Kaylee fumbled around the floor for her robe. "Wonder what time it is. Gotta be close to breakfast, I'm starving."

Mal snorted and tugged on his drawers and pants. "You're always starving."

Kaylee yawned, "Hope someone's making coffee."

Mal rubbed his face and stumbled around the bed. "Wonder where the hell my shirt is."

"Look in the bathroom." Kaylee stretched and yelped when Mal's arms snaked around her middle. She turned just in time to catch his kiss.

"Better than coffee?" Mal eventually asked.

"Almost." Kaylee laughed but held on tight. "Is it always like this?"

"Like what?"

"Comfortable like before but … closer." She shrugged.

His laughter popped free like a cork from shimmer whine. He reached between them and tied her robe back up. "Can't honestly say. Never woke up with someone I was working the day with. Guess we'll find out."

Kaylee slid her arms around his neck. Her fears were bare but willing to speak up. "Will we?"

He feathered kisses across her face, just couldn't help wanting to feel her skin, her smile - even if he couldn't see it. She could feel the lift of his brows, knew the moment he captured a memory when he said, "Ya Wanna?"

Her breath caught. She wasn't satisfied with nibbles; she wanted to share the loaf. She showed him that, bold as the dark encouraged.

When he drew back, before they wouldn't, she thumbed the beads of sweat from his forehead, and whispered, "Just - don't leave without me."

Mal rested his forehead on hers, nodded, unable to say more than, "Find your clothes fore Jayne walks in."

"Yes Cap'n." Kaylee mocked him.

He stubbed his foot and complained, "Don't they believe in lights in this gorram hole in the ground?"

"Switches are by the main door, left side." Kaylee called out.

"Across a minefield of furniture – ow!"

She tried to smother her giggle.

"I heard that!" He chided her, "Lights! Finally. Remind me to leave a light on next time."

Kaylee inhaled a ragged breath, not sure if she was grateful or just happier than anyone had a right to be, when he said 'next time.' He'd slept. She'd rested, imaging all the worst things in the 'verse that the morning could bring.

It wasn't like her, not looking for the shiny in the scrap. But this, this was already so shiny she was afraid of the scrap burying it. Scared her to find such joy in Mal, in herself, to see his face relax after so long of watching the lines and grooves pinching at him. She was more afraid now _not_ to see it, touch him, hold him…. To know.

She hated being afraid almost as much as she hated being shot! That made her smile. Shaking away her fears with a determination few would have thought she possessed; Kaylee looked for her cloths fore Jayne showed up. 

--oooo—

Breakfast, Jayne, Monty and the King arrived all at once. Fess trailed in a few moments behind with Kaylee's poncho and coveralls. She thanked him when he said she looked nice in her dress. She wore that short dress every time they came to Beaumonde, or anywhere else for that matter, but Fess was like that.

"She's just thinking to distract me over the haggling." The King laughed, "Won't work though. I'm passed such frivolousity."

"Does your fifth wife know that?" Monty prodded, fluffing his beard.

"She does." Feron smirked.

"Did you get the troublemaker?" Mal tucked into eggs like he'd never eaten.

"Won't be long." Feron watched Monty sopping gravy with his bread and grimaced. "Miz Kaylee, come on up to the store, we'll finish our haggling. Fess bring coffee and some of those sweet breads."

Kaylee placed her hand on Mal's shoulder, feeling for the tension that would mean she should convince the King to haggle with him present. Was harder to do that, but he was the Cap'n. Mal covered her hand with his, raised an enquiring eye at her.

She shook her head, grinning when she realized he wasn't thinking about the job, just didn't want her to go. It made it easy to tease him, "Wrong person might be distracted. Can't afford that."

The smirk on his face made her laugh. "I'm not giving in on item number two. Don't even think about it."

Kaylee bounced across the room to the Scrap King. Calling over her shoulder, "Wouldn't bother thinking bout it, Cap'n."

"Ain't gonna let the girl eat?" Jayne leaned back, tossing his napkin on the table.

"Keep the competition weak with hunger, enhances negotiations." Feron's laughter echoed from the corridor.

"Kaylee'll wrap him around her finger fore coffee's poured." Jayne boasted.

Fess sniffed indignantly and followed his King.

"Monty, you know this Ty?" Mal asked, settling back with his coffee.

"Know of him." Monty shrugged and leaned back into the cushions, setting his feet up on the low table. "Nothing to concern us."

Jayne was slouched and snoring. Mal decided they had the right idea and set his cup on the floor beside the chair. Kaylee didn't need him for chattering distraction. Like _that would ever happen_, Mal rubbed his head into the cushion. Might as well get some actual sleep….

--oooo--

"Captain Reynolds! Woe! Don't shoot!" Fess skidded to a halt inside the door as three, instantly alert men aimed weapons at him.

"What?" Mal was already moving. Jayne and Monty behind him.

"We got trouble up in the store, best come." Fess was out of range before he'd finished the sentence.

The King was on the dusty wood floor, yelling at a doctor tending the wound above his left knee. Plugged but good, Fess had said. He sported a busted lip and a ragged gash on his left cheek but he was still able to shout at the skinny old doctor. 

"Where the hell is she?" Mal grabbed a fistful of Feron's lapel.

"Came up through the tunnel – Ease up, man - there's _some_ tunnels." Feron gasped as the doctor wound bandages around leg. "He claimed I was trying to steal her, sell her. He was calling her Rosa. She talked at him gentle, got him to quit shooting. Then begged him to get her out. I hollered at the men outside to let 'em go. But, I swear, she was fine, Malcolm, you hear me? She was fine, not a scratch on her."

Jayne's grip on Mal's arm strained to keep the Captain from pounding King Feron to paste. Not that Jayne objected to that – but it would waste time. Jayne voiced his reasoning, "Not gonna hurt someone he's been chasin for years across the gorram 'verse."

Mal shook Jayne off, "Less he figures out she ain't his."

"Took the fat wheeler, no doubt headed out to his pap's place. My boys will show you where." Feron shoved the doctor aside and inched up the wall to his feet. "She done good – you tell her that. Might also tell her that skipping and hopping around kept my sharp shooters from plugging him. She needs to learn to be still, Malcolm."

Mal ignored the King. _Overcome the obstacles, get the job done,_ he knew it by heart. By- hell done burnt it out once already- heart. Calm as a Shepherd, he issued orders, "Jayne, get the mule. Monty, get a tracker. Feron, you got cover on the ground out there?"

"I do. In the trees and three on the ground across the river. Good eyes, steady hands." Feron let Fess sidle under him, supporting his bulk by sheer willpower. "Malcolm, that boy, he's wheezing like he's been working mines or something. I think he's passed needing a booster."

"Great, crazy and sick." Mal stalked out the front door, cursing Jayne for being too gorram slow fetching the mule.

Jayne ignored the Captain's complaining. Mal paced while they waited, _waited! He'd boasted about waiting, how long ago? A few hours?_ Precious head start minutes wasted, waiting for Monty and the tracker.

_No guarantee in the 'verse,_ she'd said. Mal knew there was a guarantee: _Trouble always found you, no matter how deep you buried yourself. It'd tunnel to you if it had to._

--oooo—


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Firefly & Characters aren't mine. Money sure as heck isn't mine either (gorramit!). My heart is just dancing in their 'verse for a little while.

Exchanging Words – 9  
  
Kaylee had trouble getting the tinder to catch in the old fireplace. She hoped there were enough holes in the flue to keep the smoke from filling the one room cabin. Maybe guide folks to where they were. Ty said he'd known better than to go to his grand pap's – not no idiot, he'd spit in the pale, overworked dirt.

He hid the fat wheeler in a dry wash. They'd hiked near to three miles through the woods, not following any path Kaylee could discern. He had no breath for talking, except to hurry her along and boast, just the one time. "Friends of mine used this place when we was running ammo. Doubt anyone alive remembers it's here."

Ty was a gaunt man, sallow faced and obviously hurting in his chest. Sweat dripped off his brown hair into his eyes. They were still blue, but glassy, darting about like an owl. His working clothes were threadbare and dirty, crusted with dust. Some of the King's blood was splattered on his leg. He shivered even as the exertion reddened his cheeks.

"I'm gonna need some firewood." Kaylee turned toward him, tugging her skirt so she wasn't flashing herself at him. He kept staring at her – hungry, so hungry like. She glanced at the door, "Should I fetch it?"

"Use what we got. There's plenty under that canvas there." He waved the gun, "Fetched it last night after I saw them dragging the women into that hell hole. Knew them slavers would bring use ya to bargain today. Don't like to feed the merchandise. Bided my time till that fat old bastard was sippin his tea."

"I'm … glad you finally come home … Ty." Kaylee lifted the canvas and cradled a few pieces of wood to feed the tinder. Didn't take long to get it going. She rubbed dust from her hands and stood up. She tried to think of something simple and easy to say. "You worried bout the weather?"

"No, why?" He looked at her like she was crazy. Watching out the window, careful not to stand in front of it but at an angle where he could see the woods.

"You keep starring out that window, thought maybe bad weather was coming." Kaylee forced a smile.

Ty looked toward the sky, "Just a bit cloudy. It'll get cold tonight though. Might snow next few weeks if the damp makes it this far south."

"Seems early for snow don't ya think?" Kaylee took a step toward the center of the room.

"It does. Can't predict the weather or crops except there'll be too much of the weather and not enough of the crops." He snorted and took to coughing until he was pale as the wallboard bleached by the sun. His stomach drew in, tight and sunk, so that his ribcage poked way out as he wheezed air in little gasps.

"Get back from that door!" He barked.

Kaylee jumped back. Spinning toward him with her hands gripped across her middle, like a prayer.

"Don't want you to be a target, Rosa." He waved her toward the center of the room. Kaylee sat down on the rickety chair at the warped table.

"That's a bad cough. Need to let me fetch you some tea and yellow goose root." Kaylee plucked at a hangnail to hide the fact her hands were shaking. "Market isn't far, we could go together, like … like we used to or I could-"

"Got provisions. In the cupboard up there." Ty pointed with is chin toward the far wall. He leaned back, struggling to draw breath.

She made tea and it eased his breathing. He said he was hungry, so she fried up a small skillet of onions and taters. Been years since she'd cooked over a fire, liked to singe her face off a couple times. Made Ty laugh though and laughing wasn't so scary as waving that gun about and ranting about slavers and retribution days being just around the corner.

While he was nibbling, she pointed out that the bed was more fleas than stuffing. He wouldn't hear of her setting it outside to air. Late in the day, she handed him another cup of tea and tried to convince him to rest. "I'll watch if you think we still need to."

"I'm fine, Rosa." He smiled, looking younger than he was for a moment. His hand brushed against her hair, fingering the strands.

Kaylee bit her lip to keep from gagging. His breath was hot and smelled of poison, a rusted metal smell, corroding from the inside out. She could see the sores boiled up on his neck, a few on hid beneath his collar and one behind his ear. When he leaned in and snatched a kiss, she swallowed her scream, moaned her fear. She jerked back but he held her wrist, her arm was extended as far as it would go.

"No need to fret." He sighed. Tired but waving that gun like it was enough energy all the same. "I'm home now."

"Let me put some wood on the fire, Ty." Kaylee tugged with all of her strength to free herself. "It's getting chilly in here and your sick."

"I been poorly, true enough." He turned back to the window. "I'll be fine now I've found you. That's all that matters." He choked on the tea and wiped the liquid from his chin with the back of his hand.

As the sun marched across the horizon, he talked when he could get enough breath. Told her how he'd search for her. What he'd seen in the war, some of what he'd rather not have seen after. His voice thickened to hoarse wheezes. He drifted to silence. Gun pointed right at her, not the woods, as if his heart knew what he just wouldn't see. She weren't Rosa.

Sun was creeping low and most of the wood was gone. Wind had howled most of the afternoon. Clouds rolled in, not quite drizzling but wetting everything through with damp. Kaylee watched Ty watch the woods till he couldn't stand and slid to the floor. His head flopped around on his neck like a broken doll. She grabbed the gun when it slid from his hand and set it in the wood box, under the canvas.

Kaylee dragged him to the fireplace. The bed was disgusting but the quilt he'd brought along was thick, dry and mostly clean. She covered him with it. The bucket of water next to the fireplace was cold. She dunked a towel in it. Raising his shoulders, she slid under him, and rested his head in her lap. Gently, she draped the towel over his forehead. He choked and gagged. With a grunt, she rolled him to his side so's the onions and taters could escape. She threw a second towel over the mess and wrestled him back near the fire. Covered him well, then wiped his chin and neck.

"Help is on the way, Ty. I'm sure … the family is sending help soon." Kaylee rolled her eyes at her weak lie but the man didn't notice. She wasn't scared now he didn't have the gun. And, not like when Mal was hurt and she thought he might bleed away in her lap. She was terrible sorry for the man resting on her, hanging on so tight to his life, to her. His eyes were clouded, the blue faded, hurting for what he couldn't find more than what he was suffering at the moment.

He clutched for her hand. "Rosa? Where are ya gal?"

"I'm right here, rest." Kaylee brushed damp hair from his clammy face.

"They told me you was dead – I never believed 'em. Alliance bastards will tell you anything to make ya give up the cause." His hand was like ice when it found her cheek. "Don't cry. I'm home now. When I get rested, we'll make this gravel and weed pay. Show them what free folks can do."

Kaylee made a soothing sound and tucked his hand back under the covers. She could feel his breath rattling beneath her hand. Wanting to soothe his thrashing about, she feathered a kiss on his forehead, "Rest now, Ty. Rosa's here."

"Don't leave me!"

"I'm right here, Ty. Won't leave ya." Kaylee sniffed, repeated the phrase and others more times than she'd ever be able to recollect. Until she meant it, until she _was_ Rosa.

He begged. He pleaded for her never to leave him. Cried a little. Asked her to hold his hand – asked her again, cause he couldn't feel her gripping it. Yelled at her bout not taking care of the place, too. Demanded she never leave him. Cursed her for trying to hold the land and letting herself go.

Kaylee promised, soothed and agreed. Rubbed his chest to ease the pain, ignored the smell of his breath and drizzled cold water on the sores cause he said they burned. Hummed a lullaby when he started screaming bout the war. Sang hymns when he started begging her to shoot him so's they didn't lock him up again.

He passed from living in her lap. Gulped at air that couldn't fit in lungs so full of fluid. Gave up, just as the sun quit the day. Kaylee cradled him, rocking and humming, lost in his confusion and the darkness. Her legs were numb from his weight and her flesh chilled to the bone. She kept promising him everything would be fine. Help was on the way.

"You'll be up choppin wood fore you know it…."

--oooo—

Ty's body was cooled; Kaylee's was freezing. She couldn't move; couldn't leave him alone. Had no idea where in the hell she was, or where the fat wheeler could be found. When light flashed across the cracked window glass, Kaylee reached beneath the canvas and slipped the gun into her lap, next to Ty's head. Just like she promised, she wouldn't let no one take him – hurt him.

Kaylee patted his shoulder. "Are there wild dogs out here? God, I hope not! Coulda told me important stuff like that, instead of war stories."

She leaned back against the bricks, "No thunder. Just jumpy." Humming, she watched the window anyway, not even a moth flickered by.

Her eyes were scratchy from watching so long. She wanted to rub them but she hadn't washed her hands since - "Got no genius plan. Musta used 'em all up." She whispered, "You sure are a heap of trouble for such a skinny guy."

She paused, looking down at the shell of a man, fingering his hair as if he'd open his eyes and tell her something – anything - else any second. She hoped he'd tell her there were no dogs roaming the woods.

No light but the glow from the coals in the fireplace. She wouldn't know where to look for more wood, in the dark. And it _was_ darker than space out there. She couldn't even see the stars, only clouds and mist. No distant sun or auxiliary light to kick on. No engine noise, no squabbling in the cargo hold or fussing in the kitchen. Nothing to fix. Nothing to mend. Dark. And … nothing.

"Got decent atmo. That's good." She smoothed the blanket across him, though it hadn't moved. Her voice droned on, a soft whisper that echoed in the hollow cabin. "Help will be here … soon. Did I ever tell you bout holding Mal like this? He was hurt. It's why we're here. Scrapping, not slavin like you said."

Kaylee used the back of her hand to wipe her cheeks, "My daddy used to say I had leaky valves, but he didn't mean nothin by it. I don't mean nothing, my eyes, they just drip and make a mess. It's nothing."

She shifted her leg, snatching at Ty's arm as it slid to the floor, no thud. No sound of pain. Tucking it back, Kaylee shuddered. "Just not good at sittin still. Anyway, Cap'n and I were stuck on this wreck. Weren't scared then. There were things to fix. Cap'n wasn't scared, talked some. We can be quiet. We can talk. Doesn't feel uncomfortable. He thinks I can do anything – fix everything. He told Inara I'm strong. No one's ever said that before – not and meant it."

Her eyes drooped, feeling heavy. Something popped in the fireplace and she started. She noticed Ty's slack mouth, shivered and found another train of thought. "I like to see his smile. Feels right to see him that way. All of Mal smiles when he looks at me, even before. Hell, I like to see his eyes all tensed and his voice all growly – Just like to see him…. Now would be a good time to see him, dontcha think? "

Kaylee grinned, "Course, now he's probably tetchy. Won't be easy to say a thing till he calms down. We were playin this morning, not rushing. Trying to take our time. Special, and different to know he didn't want me to go with the King. Not cause he didn't think kindly of the man – but because he just wanted me to … stay. I could see it. Scared him maybe, just a bit."

Her sigh echoed back and mocked her, "I didn't even – didn't make sure he knew I wanted to stay… left him sitting there, thinking we had all the time in the 'verse. Shoulda know'd better."

Kaylee frowned, "Is the moon was rising already?" She wondered how long she'd blabbered on. Rubbing at her arms, she shrugged, "You know, talking don't always come out right. Lovin Rosa like you do, you must know bout not needin words so much as ya need … to hold, be held or just laugh when you're mad like ya know it won't really matter, the being mad…." Kaylee leaned forward to see the window better and patted the corpse like she woulda liked someone to reassure her. "Mad's just a feelin for a little bit. It can't make all the good ones go away. Not even when ya prod the mad – just won't make the love go. Was Rosa like that? Laughin and smiling at ya – makin ya mad so's ya loved her any which ways? I know why ya chased that feelin and her for so long… I surely do…."

No, weren't the moon, she realized, but lights, bobbin in the woods. There! Shining on the window. Kaylee fumbled in her lap for the weapon Ty had waved in King Feron's face then hers. Didn't mean nothing, just the fever most probably.

"A Shepherd showed me how to do this." Kaylee lifted the gun and tried to remember all he'd told her bout shooting, but nothing much remained. She'd wanted to forget what she didn't do. "All right, so I probably won't do it well, but," Kaylee bit her lip, "I won't _not_ do it this time, Cap'n. Don't you worry, no one's gonna hurt ya no more, Malcolm Reynolds. No one."

Kaylee gulped air and whispered, "I can _do_ this. I can do _this_. I _can_ do this."

The door was kicked open. A light flashed in her face and Kaylee fired the weapon. Someone hit the dirt howling.

Jayne shouted. "Gorram girl shot me in the ass!" Rolling in the dirt.

"Kaylee!" Mal called to her, not in front. Not in the dirt rolling and dying. Nearer. Alive.

Monty crouched near Jayne, shouting at the tracker to stay put. Kaylee fired again – no one fell down. No one screamed. No one was there to hit.

"This isn't so hard!" Kaylee giggled. "See, Cap'n, I won't let ya down."

"Kaylee, what the hell are you doing?" Mal shouted again.

She looked down at the weight in her lap. "I'm taking care of you."

"You gonna take my head off, woman." Mal's voice was nearer, soft. Not quite a laugh but not the fear she'd first heard. No light flashing or stomping boots. Just near. She could hear his breath - but his head was in her lap…?

She reared back, startled when he flipped on the light at his feet. Her head hit the ragged brick behind her. Mal had crept in the back door. He was squatting in front of her. Grim faced – Cap'n's not asking, he's telling face.

"Give me that thing." He snatched the gun from her and dropped it on the table. Without any tenderness, he grabbed her under the arms and hauled her from beneath Ty's body. He slammed her against him, digging his fingers into her back, groaning back deep in his throat. His coat flapped forward, hugging her too. Not a word, just the sound of his heart pounding in her ear. Kaylee breathed his anger, a heat that was scorching pins and needles in her cheek and neck.

"You all right?" He demanded, shook her a little when she didn't say nothing.

Kaylee nodded, squeezing into him. His arms tightened so it hurt to breathe. She didn't think it wasn't close enough….

"Girls stab me. Girls shoot me. I'm beginning to see a disturbin pattern here!" Jayne, growled when Monty dumped him on the bedding. He saw Kaylee and raised up on his elbow to bark at her, "What'd ya go and shoot me for? We was rescuing ya!"

Kaylee glared at Jayne, hollering, "Ya might have said who ya was."

"What!" Jayne rolled to his side. Sneered through his bared teeth as Monty examined him. "Maybe knocked first? That _ain't_ how rescuin works!"

"What took you so long?" Kaylee screeched like a market vendor being accused of cheating. Knotting a fist so tight in Mal's shirt, she liked to rip the holes through the buttons. Mal covered her hand, trying to pry her fingers from his clothing to allow her to grip him instead.

"Gorram idiot didn't know his own place. We've been knocking open doors of every scrap picker for twenty acres. And **not one** shot me!" Jayne howled again when Monty started laughing.

"Ain't nothing but a scratch. Come and see, I don't think there's even any blood." Monty slapped Jayne in the back of the head.

"She ain't looking at my ass!" Jayne thrashed around on the bed, rubbing his offended part and waved his bloody hand around. "Is so bleeding."

Mal felt Kaylee shudder. Quiet as authority is, Mal said, "Shut the hell up Jayne. Monty, wipe his… wound. Let's move out."

Kaylee shook her head. "We can't just leave him."

Mal brushed his hand through her hair, resting it on the base of her neck. Softer than ever, he promised, "We can. We will."

He just wanted to get her out of there. Her face was white as milk. When her fussing with Jayne wore off, she'd start to feel the cold. He could feel her body shivering beneath his hand spread across her back. Judging by the stiffness in the features, Ty'd been dead for some hours. Kaylee'd been sitting there with a dead man in her lap and a weapon in her hands. If that wasn't scary enough, she'd actually fired it, twice. Intended to keep on firing it, looked like to him.

More'n terrible wrong to see Kaylee vacant eyed but determined to kill to keep a promise. A promise a man had no right to ask of her, not of Kaylee. Mal closed his eyes, squeezed them shut for just a moment. He'd seen too gorram many faces with that expression, trying to warm the dead back to life with promises. Way to fix that was to move out. Move on. That's the way it worked.

Kaylee stepped back. Mal stepped forward. She frowned and told him, "I promised."

Monty was bending over the body, shook his head. "Long gone, girl."

Kaylee pushed Monty aside. "What do you know? You ain't no doctor."

Gripping her shoulder from behind, Mal spun her about. What began as a shout became a sigh, "You done the best ya could. Can't fix everything."

Kaylee struggled against his hold so he feared he'd bruise her. Crying with frustration, she stomped her foot and shouted, "He's just sick! Needs help."

"Look at me. Kaylee, look at _me_." Mal cupped her face, blocking her view of Monty covering up the body. "Jayne's hurt. We need to get him to the Scrap King's doctor."

"Jayne?" Kaylee squeezed her eyes shut. It was too much – too many things to think on, too many things to feel. Too gorram much of everything! Too much anger gnawing at them, at her and she couldn't fix it. Opening her eyes, looking for tools, she saw Mal. Right there, hands on her face, seriousness on his face. Orders to give, orders to obey….

"Jayne." Mal brushed his thumb along her cheek, rested there, waited for her to focus.

Drawing back from his comfort, she whispered with a brittle catch in her voice, "Jayne's hurt. Whatya standin around for?"

She left the cabin, Jayne's complaining, Monty's snorts of humor, and a dead body. Mal followed her through the door, but she waved him away. He stopped, watched her climb onto the back of the mule and hunch down. Mal stalked back to the cabin and hoisted Jayne across his shoulder. Monty commented on the view of the wound being better that way. They hauled him moaning and bitching from the cabin to the mule.

King Feron's men pulled alongside the cabin, big men on fat wheelers. Their clomping through the cabin didn't cover the sound of them sloshing fuel oil or torching the place. Kaylee didn't flinch, not even when the men made rowdy jokes.

"Not right," Jayne slouched into the passenger seat with a huff. "Girl couldn't hit the broad side of a barn but plugs me in ass comin to her aid." He looked across to Mal, climbing in the back. Mal glared and Jayne shut the hell up.

Monty stuffed himself behind the wheel and revved the engine. Mal shrugged out of his coat and covered Kaylee. Her knees were near her chin, teeth chattering. She didn't look at him, just stared into the dark.

Mal squished in beside her. Dragging her close as he could. Knocking a fist against Monty's shoulder, he commanded the man, "Move out."

The light of the blazing cabin only enhanced the darkness enveloping them.

--oooo—


	10. Chapter 10

Exchanging Words – 10

Kaylee, Mal and Monty followed the stretcher bearing an unusually silent Jayne. The mist shrouding the world felt thick, like a stream they were wading through. Fess waited at the entrance of the palace with the doctor and several women. The focused lighting hit Kaylee like a hammer between the eyes. She shuddered to a stop, her feet not willing to go further.

Mal put his hands on her shoulders, drawing her gaze. He'd used Jayne to get her out of the mule, used him to get her feet moving across the garden, was gonna use him again to get her inside: safe. "Gotta get Jayne in to see the doc." 

Kaylee's voice was hard as the sculptures in the garden. "We did the job. We get paid. We go back to _Serenity._ That's how it works."

Captain didn't budge, raised his eyebrows at her.

Kaylee crossed her arms. Her hair was plastered to her head. She was damp clear through and breathless with shivering but insisted, "I can go myself. Come back for you in the morning."

"Just leave Jayne?" Mal knew he was pushing too hard, softened his voice, and tried reasoning. "No one's going anywhere. Wouldn't send Jayne loaded with Vera and armor to the docks this time of night. Not about to wander about down there either. I'm wet, cold and hungry, not standing out here arguing no more about it."

"Fine." She snatched her elbow from his hold, marched down the steps like she was queen of all Londinium and didn't need no gorram shiny hat. Mal followed, wondering where she found the energy to glare at him.

"Fess?" Kaylee, hands on her hips, nodded at Mal with her chin. "Captain Reynolds is hungry and cold. Can you send some warm food to his – our – the suite?"

"Yes Miz Kaylee." Fess bustled away through the kitchen door. Retreat was wise, Mal thought.

"There, see how easy that was." She rounded on Mal, smiling like she might ask him if he'd like his bowels recalibrated before his coffee or after. Flushing with anger or embarrassment - Mal wasn't certain - Kaylee whirled away. Stalking down the corridor, she waved her hands as if she muttering curses on the heads of all men.

Mal watched her, till she went around the corner, Fess chasing after her with a rolling cart. He hoped she was angry enough to get all the way to the suite. Mal told himself Kaylee just needed a few minutes to herself, that's why she pushed him away with her anger…. It would go away, soon enough. She was just hurting, had nothing to do with him failing to keep her safe. Kaylee was just mad cause he was bossing her about, wouldn't let her go to the ship like she wanted.

Mal turned toward the dining room where King Feron rested on what looked like a fancy throne with his foot propped on the stool and cushion. His face was swollen and purple with bruising. The stitching on his cheek would be a legendary scar when he healed. No doubt with tales of how many jumped him and how he fought 'em all off protecting his little scrap kingdom.

Feron adjusted his leg and said to Mal. "Shoulda put Ty down when he first went nuts. Saved him and us all the misery."

Mal narrowed his eyes at the wounded man, "Can't truly draw the line for another. You believe they'll find a way to walk through it till they prove different. Were enough decent folks put down in the war to litter hell and then some." Mal shook his head, pointless to try and tell this man how to run his kingdom. He straightened his tired spine and asked Feron what he really needed to know, "You two finish your bartering?"

"Deals done. Coin is in your suite. Parts will be on your ship before noon tomorrow." Feron winced, talking hurt. "Good enough?"

"Hospitality left something to be desired, but overall, good enough." Mal turned to go, but Feron gripped his forearm.

The grip of a sergeant who gave orders to men till there weren't no men to give 'em to, made Mal pause. "Don't lay down arms, Malcolm. Gal's worth ten times her weight in scrap."

"I'll thank you to stay out of my business." Mal sneered and peeled Feron's hand away.

Fed up with the illusions of benevolent tyranny, Mal sought after Kaylee.

--oooo—

Monty was perched on a chair, a plate of food on his lap, cup and saucer in his hand, manfully enduring torture. Mal eased the coat from his shoulders and tossed it over a chair.

"Sit down, Cap'n. Fess has enough food here for an army." Kaylee waved at the table, her smile stretched tight across her face. "Contract is there, with the coin. I'm gonna go … clean up."

She closed the bathroom door before Mal could say a word.

Monty's cup rattled when he placed it on the low table. Put the plate next to it and threw his napkin on the pile. Cleared his throat and reported like it was the old days, "Jayne's fine. Bullet went creasing by. Oughter be a pretty scar and a real interesting story to tell, when he gets over his wounded pride. He's gonna sit awkward for a few days."

Heaving his coat over his shoulders, Monty ached to spit. Instead, he sighed and swallowed words Mal most likely didn't need and surely wouldn't want. Gravel voiced, he said, "I'll take my two percent and quit. Shoulda just let the gorram wreck drift."

"You do have a gift for dramatics." Mal snorted at Monty's puckered mouth and reminded him, "We all profited. No call to blame yourself over a few inconveniences."

Mal couldn't focus on the papers he'd picked up. Just tried to read the bottom line and do the math. He could hear the water running, splashing as she got in, then silence. She'd sung last night, was it just last nigh? Silly words with a childish tune. Sweet sound, her voice, humming through him, drawing the tender to the surface, then the heat. Sang with her, he did. Laughed and enjoyed the novelty of sharing more'n a quip or a mealtime guffaw till the meal ached pleasurably in his stomach. Playing till the heat transformed to energy and surged through them both. Water steaming from them like a skillet put on the heat fresh from the sink.

Monty paced around the room, glancing toward the door, embarrassed by the action. He shook his head and planted his feet facing Mal. "I ain't got the stomach for that kinda hurt no more."

Mal counted out Monty's share and dropped it in the large man's paw. "Go on then. Job's done. I'm obliged for your help, no need for more."

Monty clutched the coins and stuffed them in his pocket. "You got that kinda courage anymore? Like when we were young? Risking it all for a maybe in this 'verse?"

Gazing at the bathroom door, listening to the silence, Mal wanted to agree with Monty. But, Mal wouldn't or couldn't. Shook his head and said, "Better to be on the right side of the loosing cause than the wrong side and claim to have won. Remember knowing that Monty? Knowing it all the way through?"

The burly man nodded, "I do."

"We're a mite bruised. Bruises heal." Mal made his eyes focus on Monty instead of that gorram door so firmly shut. "Woulda ya rather have sat home on the porch and ignored the maybe? Let it all go without putting up a fight?"

Monty snorted, "Reckon not."

Mal nodded, "Reckon maybe's worth a bruise or two. Having profit come along with it don't hurt none either."

Monty laughed and took Mal's hand. "Watch out for them devil women, Monty."

"I'm always watchin, Mal. Fly careful." Monty slapped him on the back and jingled the coins in his pocket as he left.

Mal sat down cause his legs wouldn't hold him up no more. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. Nearly prayed. That scared him more'n facing the entire Alliance. He couldn't ask for mercy from some deity that had abandon folks who gave their all, left him with a life but nothing other than his own self to hold on to. Couldn't ignore the desire for mercy either. First time in a long gorram time he'd actually thought on it, wanted it. Dropping his hands from his face, he folded them together, not praying, just a word to anyone who might happen to hear or respond. Maybe….

_"Please."_

The next breath didn't burn like acid boiling in his lungs. Mal thought that was enough.

--oooo—

Her head was draped across his lap, three blankets over her and she was still as death in her sleep. Mal had turned the heat up before she got out of the bath. She drug herself from the bathroom, wearing his shirt and hauling every blanket from the bedroom with her. She dropped onto the sofa next to him, the pile of blankets not close enough to do her any good, and flopped over on him. Not a word or a look just exhausted sleep.

He'd held on to her, damp and sweet, for considerable time. Settling her against his legs so he could cover her better when the shivering rattled her so bad. She slept, her hand curled across his knee, other hand tucked under her, somewhere. Her hair was nearly dry, waving across a bright green cover like copper that'd been shined. Mal kept one hand on her shoulder but the other twirled the strands of her hair and was grateful.

The gasp startled him. She'd been still and peaceful, no thrashing or tension. But suddenly, she was awake. He could feel the awareness of where she was creep over her. Mal rubbed her back, sad when she sat up straight, drawing away from him.

Shoving hair from her face, she glanced around the room, yawned and asked, "Monty go?"

"Yes." Mal tucked the covers around her shoulders, sitting back when she stiffened.

"Jayne?" She rubbed her face, trying to wake up.

"He's fine." Mal grinned, couldn't help it.

Kaylee grinned back, "Gonna live on this story for some time. How I shot Jayne in the ass. Might even get famous."

Mal stretched his legs out beside her on the sofa and she squirmed around to make room for him. Slouching down, he held out his arm but she shook her head.

"Just give me some time to wake up." She softened her distance with a smile.

"Thought we might just sleep a bit more. It is the middle of the night… I think." Mal frowned, not at all sure what time it was.

Kaylee put her hand on his bended knee and leaned on it. Mal felt relief warm him, not even aware he needed her touch – thought she was supposed to need his.

"I am sorry I shot him." She said. "You reckon Jayne'll forgive me once I finish tormentin him?"

Mal nodded. He'd heard her talking to the dead man. Could guess at the way things got twisted in her heart with dark, death and guns waving about. Jayne wasn't an idiot. He'd figured it out. Man kept looking across his shoulder, watching Kaylee the whole way back, squinting in the dark with concern more'n pain. Mal figured the two of 'em would milk the squabbling and mockery for a good month or more and was looking forward to egging it on at every opportunity. Things that scared ya didn't hold no power if you found the humor in 'em.

"Wanna tell me bout it?" He inched a bit so he could touch her cheek with his fingers. Just a flutter cross her face, just a touch, stolen cause he couldn't not.

She grinned, devil woman grin that made his breath seize up. "Not really. Maybe later. Don't gotta tell ya every little thought."

"That's not what my Captain Dummy Book said." Mal watched the blush gobble up her grin, admired the way she could shift from mood to mood so openly. He wanted more of that, "As I recall, you said you felt like ya just _had_ to tell me every little thing – but thank god that Wash talked so much you couldn't."

Kaylee slapped his knee and flounced on his chest. "You weren't supposed to have read all that stupid stuff at the beginning. I crossed it out!"

"Folks naturally wanna read the crossed out stuff even more." Easing his arm around her shoulder, slow, waiting to see if she'd go stiff again, Mal battled the urge to bury himself in her. "Noticed also that you got right put out with me, often. Then I noticed you stopped writing bout me altogether - except to tell me what to do."

Her sigh gave him courage and his hand found her face. She leaned into his palm, kissed it gentle and then squirmed to get comfortable. "Quit writing silliness when I gave up you ever seein me as anything but another part of _Serenity_. Decided that was special enough. The book was supposed to be for you, not me. Didn't figure ya needed all the other stuff."

"Wouldn't have nothing to do with the doc comin aboard?" Mal teased her hair.

"Gave up fore that." She propped her chin on the hand resting across his chest. Her gaze was mirthful, "Course, if'n ya want to be jealous, I wouldn't mind reassuring you."

"When you don't got such a desire to forget the day, won't mind takin ya up on that." Mal thumbed the shadows under her eyes. Brushing the tips of her lashes that felt like kisses on his thumb.

"Not about forgettin." Kaylee said, "Bout letting it go. Can't fix it, can't change the sadness that's sittin in me for him. Best to just let it be until it's not so sore."

Mal did squeeze her then. His arms had a heart of their own, couldn't ignore such an empty sound in her voice and the flash of ache across her face. She flinched when he shifted, put her face across his chest and hugged him back. Not stiff as before, but more to soothe him than herself.

"Can we go home tomorrow?" She whispered against him

"Don't wanna visit with the folks? Might not be back for quite some time." Mal nuzzled her head with his chin.

"Visiting is nice." Kaylee agreed, "But I just wanna go home. Put that regulator on the atmo panel, change out that board that's always frying the kitchen lights, get-"

"You wanna play with your new toys." Mal laughed, knowing the joke for the lie it was.

"I do." She smiled, grateful.

"And am I gonna have to chase ya down in the engine room just to get a kiss?" He nudged her chin, his smile dimmed when he saw the tears drowning her eyes. "Sh, Kaylee, s'okay."

She nodded, couldn't find her smile but tried, "You might have to hide cause I'll be huntin you."

"To kiss me or tell me every little detail of repairs?" He drew her closer, felt her legs restless against him, trying to lever away, carry the hurt beyond his reach.

"I can do both at the same time, have natural talent ya know." She twisted, pushed against the squishy cushions beneath them. "Let me go, Mal. Please."

He kissed her head, whispering. "We don't hide away one from the other. Please."

"Not hidin. Just don't need-"

"**I** need to hold you." He ran his foot along the back of her leg, flopping it across to hug both her legs.

She nodded and stilled, sucking air in little sips between her teeth, trying to regain control of her feelings. A tiny chuckle escaped and she said, "It's funny. Blubbered all over … him and thought I was done with it. But it just comes up in me, like I remember I'm here, you're here and it feels wonderful but…"

"But it shouldn't." Mal asked.

"I understand looking all those years – breaking inside so's ya can't not look. The powerful need for someone." She whispered, fingers restless at his side. "But … I wouldn't want you to – I'd want ya to fight with Jayne or maybe get in the middle of Wash and Zoe squabbling and stir it up a bit. Laugh at River unraveling the kitchen cans. I'd want ya to laugh and smile. Find someone else to love and hold."

"How come every time I turn around you're talking about dying? Woman, I'm getting might sick of that topic." Mal growled in his chest, more'n half mocking her.

"Possible it's the line of work we's in." She grinned.

"You wound me, Kaylee-girl. Wound me to my core!"

She gazed up at him, smirkin, "I'll cross that out too."

His laughter helped her smile to reappear. She traced the lines about his eyes, newer ones – a few she claimed for her own – that had grooved evidence that life in the black wasn't what most thought it was. There were good times in the work, laughter in the surviving and more'n death to think on. Folks living in the world struggled just the same, found love and laughter as they did, but Kaylee couldn't imagine having her boots permanent on the ground and not a deck. Not yet… maybe not ever.

"You'll take us home tomorrow?" She continued to caress his face, shuddering when his lips swept her palm.

"You just wanna get there fore item number two does." He felt her jolt of shock and reveled in it. "I may not be cunning as you when it comes to bartering, but I can read a list, Kaylee."

She shrugged, "Not trying to hide nothing. Got a good deal on it and will give pleasure to Wash and Zoe. They've been wanting it forever and a couple days."

"Uh huh." Mal didn't sound convinced.

"Didn't answer my question." She teased. "You trying to distract me?"

"Is it working?"

"Somewhat." When she wrestled and rolled from him, he let her go. Her bottom landed on the floor and her giggle wasn't near as energetic as she tried to make it. She plucked at the blanket that had tumbled with her and said, "It is nice here and King Feron feeds ya splendid stuff and Fess makes good coffee and the bath tub well, it's probably sinful… and… uh, the company is the best kind."

Mal rolled to his side, cupped her face with his hand and promised, "I'll take ya home tomorrow."

Her smile baked itself into his memory. A scorching sun of delight he wouldn't have been willing to miss.

--oooo--


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Firefly & Characters aren't mine. Money sure as heck isn't mine either (gorramit!). My heart is just dancing in their 'verse for a little while.

Exchanging Words –11

Jayne eased from the mule. His jaw set and shoulders flexed to keep the muscles from pulling in the direction of pain. Shepherd Book frowned with concern. River cackled and slapped a hand over her mouth when Jayne narrowed his eyes at her. Both responses brought a flush to Jayne's cheeks.

"Not a word, ya got that girl! Not a gorram word." He hoisted his arsenal from the back and choked back his groan as he stepped the angle of the ramp like he was leaning into a gale. "You watch your mouth Kaylee or-"

"Or what?" She was upended in the back cart, digging around for something but her voice carried well.

Man didn't utter a syllable, just kept moving slow as a snail. Reached the hatch and leaned against it for a moment before stepping through. Sweat beaded his forehead and he muttered, "I'll be in my bunk."

Shepherd hefted a crate onto his back and followed Mal up the ramp asking, "Everything go all right?"

"Bout same as usual." Mal shrugged, not about to steal Jayne's thunder. Man gets shot in the ass has a right to tell the woe his own self. "Shoppin go all right?"

"Better than expected and coin left." Shepherd nodded at Kaylee as she danced by with a cardboard tube nearly large as her and a medium sized box balanced on her shoulder.

Shepherd informed Mal, "Zoe waved us – said they'd be back in the morning."

Scrap King's men stood around while Mal and the Shepherd unloaded the cart. Bid everyone a good day and drove off in a cloud of dust. River peered into the boxes, oohing and aahing over items like they were setting tribute before her.

"Where's the doc?" Mal shoved crates around so Kaylee could sort her parts easier.

"Cooking. He was chopping and dicing like a professional when I left." Book grinned.

"Kaylee!" Mal hollered, startling River. "Gonna go settle up the fuel bill and dockin fees. Don't ya bust my boat with that thing!"

"Yes Cap'n." Her distracted voice echoed back from the crew quarters.

River grabbed Mal's hand and turned it palm up, teasing it with her forefinger. She forced his finger and thumb to touch, like a pincher. "Seeds grow. Roots and tendrils. Vines tiptoe around the sunlight. Singing in the rain. Dancing in the dark. Toe hurts when you stub it. Heals crooked. Can't kiss it better."

Mal extricated his hand from hers, but she just grinned all the more. She patted his cheek before whirling back to the boxes.

Book offered Mal an explanation, "Simon was sharing some poetry with us the other night. Since then, River's been _fixing it_. Poor boy is near beside himself with classic works twisted to … new forms. Personally, I'm rather enjoying it."

"Yes, well, seems harmless enough. Be back after bit." Mal clomped down the deck, calling over his shoulder. "Might wanna look in on Jayne if you've a mind, Preacher."

River glanced up from her examination, giggling at the Shepherd's frown. "Man parts aching. No call to be treated so during a complicated rescue op."

"Nuff of that talk, girl." Mal's voice drifted back to her.

River dusted off her hands and rose from the presents. "Kaylee waterfalled to Mal. Caught her. Splashed Jayne with haunted water. Pierced him to shame with her sorrow." She shrugged and wandered away, "I'm hungry."

Shepherd Book went to see about Jayne. The rest of it was mostly obvious but the piercing and shame did give him concern.

--oooo-- 

Dinner was quiet. Jayne listed to the left. River spouted twisted poetry that made her brother cringe. Simon worried that no one was enjoying his culinary adventures and Book watched everyone with both eyes. Mal ate like a man who had never tasted food, ignoring the tension. Kaylee didn't show up.

"Isn't Kaylee going to eat?" Shepherd Book finally broke the silence. 

Mal looked up at the expectant faces, swallowing and frowning. "She's working on a project. She'll remember to eat eventually."

"Then the bartering went well?" Simon sighed, trying to draw conversation had never been such work at this table.

"Yes, better than usual." Mal glared at Jayne when he snorted. "Excuse me. Got to get things locked down." He gulped the last of his coffee and left them to the awkward poetry.

Simon set his utensils down and rubbed his temples. "Jayne, if you want me to check your dressing, I'll be glad to do so after dinner."

Jayne set his mug down with a fist. "What dressing is that doc?"

Simon winked at the Shepherd. "The one you might need checking."

River leaned around Simon to stare at Jayne. She patted her brother's arm, "He doesn't want you to check out his ass."

If Book hadn't choked on his coffee, Jayne might have had more to say. As it were, he managed to shove his chair from beneath him and lumber to his feet. Glaring at River before walking with jerky paces toward the cargo hold.

Simon leaned on his hands, "Do you get the feeling we're missing out on something hi-larious?"

Shepherd Book looked over his shoulder, wiped his eyes and whispered, "I am sure of it. I'm also sure we should be patient and considerate, allowing Jayne to share his feelings when he's ready."

River rolled her eyes and Simon grinned, "I think Jayne is always ready to share his feelings, Preacher."

"Or, we could just keep our eyes and ears open and wait for the best moment to … be enlightened." Book sat back in his chair and waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm not doing the dishes!" River crossed her arms on the table and glared at the table.

Kaylee hustled into the dining area, "Don't try and use the water for a couple hours – gotta shut it down. Ooooh, look!" She grabbed a large roll and they could hear her yumming as she slammed through a panel in the deck of the kitchen. As she squirmed beneath them, her voice echoed up toward them, "Real bread - so good to be home."

Mal stormed into the dining area, his boots squishing, as wet as his clothes. "Kaylee! What the hell is with the passenger showers? There's water spewing out of the drains! Kaylee!"

"She squirms beneath. Following the veins. The flow of her heart." River pointed at the floor.

Simon groaned, "Can't you go back to fixing the Shepherd's broken Bible?"

"He needs his symbol. You need to laugh." River shrugged, "I like fixing you better."

"Kaylee! The water issue? Are we gonna need to swim for it?" Mal squatted in the corridor between the dining room and the cockpit.

"I'm working on it Cap'n, keep your pants on!" Her voice was followed by several loud clangs and a shuddering gasp from the kitchen drain.

"Kaylee!" A fountain came from the drain splashing all the way to the dining room.

"Just a little back flush problem, Cap'n. _Serenity_ is a contained system - nothin to worry bout, just a-" Kaylee clattered, banged, squealed a few choice words and a prayer. "There, okay – has it quit?"

Mal watched Book, Simon and River scatter from the drain rain. "It's still a little problem, Kaylee."

"Hmmm, let me try this... Now?"

The fountain trickled and evaporated. Mal announced to the deck, "Water's quit, my anger ain't. I told you! Didn't I tell you?"

"Yes, you told me." Kaylee giggled. "Might wanna swab up the deck. Give ya something to do while you're waiting to kill me."

"Oh I ain't gonna kill ya, girl. Just gonna torture you - a lot!" He stomped the decking above her head all the way to the dining area.

Dripping but grinning expectantly, the three watched Mal steam to a halt. "A back flush problem." The veins in his neck swelled and the twitch above his eye developed a staccato rhythm. Another clank sounded below and Mal ran a hand through his damp hair before stalking from the room, grousing over his shoulder. "You heard her, start swabbing."

"Can we sing pirate songs?" River asked the Shepherd.

"Anything to stop the mangled poetry." Simon sighed with relief.

"Actually, pirate songs have a measured beat that lends itself to the straight jacket of classic poetry." River gnawed at her lip, waving her toes in a puddle of water. "We could put your poetry to the familiar tunes -"

"Mop and sing, River, please. Just mop and sing." Simon started clearing the table.

"Swab and sing." River corrected him.

Shepherd Book started off about coins on the eyes of sailors. In the passenger showers, Mal ground his jaw together in time to the festive voices. Jayne twisted in the infirmary, using a mirror and the glass on the wall to check out his dressing.

Kaylee installed item number two. Her working through the night had nothing to do with Mal's growling and stomping about. She just wanted it to be perfect come morning… that's all, really.

--oooo--

Jayne stumbled to the kitchen for the coffee. Morning came on him less painfully after a night in his own bunk. He turned round to find Kaylee slouched on her arm, extended along the table. A plate was before her. Mostly eaten before she'd fallen asleep. Her hair had fallen out of its knot and was trailing toward the food.

"And they complain about _my_ table manners." Jayne snorted. Crossing to the table, he flicked her shoulder with his fingers. "Don't ya got a bunk, girl?"

Kaylee shot upright, startled and gasping. Jayne settled a hand on her shoulder so she didn't end up with hot coffee splashed on her. "Easy. No call to get riled. Your hair was dripping into your food."

"Morning Jayne." She rubbed her face. "Coffee? Yes."

She got up as Jayne eased into a chair and huddled over his mug.

"Ya forgiven me yet?" She whispered from across the table, disturbed his morning stupor.

"Just shut up bout it." Jayne flicked his gaze at her worried face and back to his mug.

"I ain't said a word, honest. Won't till you do." She nodded.

"Like you and the Cap'n ain't gonna say a word till one of us does?" Jayne smirked and gulped from his mug.

Kaylee grinned and patted Jayne's large hand, "Don't reckon we'll have to say a thing. Not like it's some big secret."

"Mal may see it different. Man don't like being discussed behind his back." Jayne warned her.

"Then maybe ya oughten't do it." Kaylee grinned and scooped up her dinner plate and mug. "Gotta go sort our haul."

Jayne's hand shot out, gently, he looped her wrist, "You can't work it all away, girl. It'll catch up with ya."

Kaylee's eyes widened then narrowed. "Got no idea what ya'r talking bout, Jayne. Got work to do and am gonna do it."

He let go of her and nodded. "Said my piece. Ain't obligated to do more'n that."

Pausing at the door, Kaylee spun around, her voice was strained but determined, "Won't make it go away but … it's better than … lettin it plague me."

Jayne nodded. Kaylee went about her business.

Mal ambled in and slapped Jayne on the shoulder. "Best to let her be."

"You just gonna let her work till she drops on the deck?" Jayne shook his head, disgusted.

"Nope, planning to distract her. Can't do that till she's tired enough not to notice my _wiles_." Mal winked. Jayne liked to fell off his chair. Mal raised his coffee mug and followed after Kaylee.

"How you feeling this morning, Jayne?" Shepherd Book came up from the passenger stairs, bright eyed and chipper as Kaylee of a morning.

"Like the 'verse is upside down. You?" Jayne held his mug out for the Shepherd to refill.

"I'm not sure what Kaylee did to the showers, but it was the best hot shower I can recollect since before I went to the Southdown Abbey." Book rolled up his sleeves to start preparing breakfast.

"She bartered for all kinds of pieces and parts, your guess is as good as mine which one does what." Jayne shrugged. "King Feron delivered the rest just a bit ago. Heard Mal visiting with the boys, woke me up."

"Sure is impressive how much was bartered from one wreck." Book whipped eggs.

"Kaylee stashes all manner of bits and pieces. Wasn't just the wreck what brung all these riches." Jayne leaned back and grimaced when he tried to settle his ankle across his knee.

"You let the doctor check out your … dressing?" Shepherd knew better than to look directly at Jayne when he asked, just kept mixing batter for pancakes.

"Don't need no doctor for a scratch." Jayne sneered.

"Course not. Then you're not helping the Captain shove crates or hauling parts to the engine room because you're just feeling ornery?" Book ladled the first splat of batter on the hot griddle.

"That's right." Jayne laughed. "Just my loveable ornery self."

Shepherd Book nodded, watching the bubbles form in the batter. Softly as he'd ever spoken to Jayne, Book asked, "Was it that bad?"

Jayne shook his head. "No worse than usual. Just, Kaylee, done got stretched a mite more than she maybe shoulda."

"Not the Captain." Book flipped the pancakes.

"Hell no. Mal was grinnin like a canary what found sunflower heaven. Just … someone that reminded her a bit too much of Mal I 'spect." Jayne frowned into his mug.

"And so she shot _you_?" Book ladled more batter, pausing to listen when Jayne looked across his shoulder and around the room to make sure no one would hear or see his grin.

"Right in the gorram ass! Gal couldn't hit an Alliance cruiser if'n it was in her face and she plugs _me_ defendin a corpse." Book leaned over the griddle when Jayne eased to his feet so's he could tell the story proper, "See, this is how it were…."

Their laughter followed the scent of breakfast to the cargo hold where Kaylee and Mal were shoving crates into a semblance of order. Mal opened another crate and wiped sweat from his forehead.

"Just how many of these are pieces of parts?" He complained.

"Best deals that way. King charges too much for labor on reconditioned parts. I can do it on the fly and be sure it's done right, just what _Serenity_ will need this way." She patted his shoulder as he flopped down on the lip of the crate. "Go have some coffee, you unloaded all this. I can dig through here - Hey!"

Mal's arms snaked out and surrounded her waist, tugging her across his lap, unbalanced. His grin suggested he didn't need no coffee. "And how my s'posed to learn to do all this if I go have coffee?"

Smiling brighter than the Beaumonde sun, she caressed his cheek. "You ain't interested in learnin bout parts."

"Not engine parts, no." He leered. 

Kaylee rolled her eyes, stifling her giggle. "You wanna be in the sky by tomorrow, you best let me up." She tugged on his hands.

"You got that little plumbing problem tended?" He grinned, tucking hair back into the twisty knot on her head.

"Do." Kaylee cradled his face between her hands and tugged him to her. Parts and plumbing ignored.

"Don't look now, wife, but seems the Captain is ignoring Jayne's wisdom about kissing on the mouth. You think we ought to send for the doctor now or after he keels over?" Wash's drawled tones popped Kaylee off Mal's lap like corn over a fire.

She swung around behind Mal, placing her hands on both his shoulders. Needn't have bothered, he wasn't the least bit put out. He covered the hand on his left shoulder with his own, smirking right back at Wash, "Just can't help myself."

"Looks like things were profitable at the Scrap King's, sir." Zoe waved at the crates and cartons scattered around the cargo hold.

"It was. Go stow your things and then see about helping us sort through Kaylee's plunder." Mal suggested.

Zoe nodded and followed Wash through. "Honey," she asked as they reached the hatch, "Look to you like the Cap'n was sorting Kaylee's plunder without needing help?"

"It did wife, it did." Wash waved her through. "Maybe we'll find time to sort plunder our own self - if Mal don't work us to death first."

Kaylee's arms slid down and she rested her chin on his head, "Shh, I wanna hear it."

Mal nodded, cocking his head.

They were not disappointed.

"OhmydearGodinheaven!" Wash's scream of rapture was followed by Zoe's shout, "Item Number Two - come to momma!"

Mal rubbed his hands along Kaylee's arms, "Don't think cause I gave in on that bathtub that Item Number Twelve will _ever_ find its way on my boat. Ever. Got that?"

Kaylee kissed the top of his head. "Yes, Cap'n."

"Best get to work. They ain't gonna come back anytime soon and help." Mal sighed and tugged himself free.

"I sure hope not." Kaylee grinned before bending into the crate and muttering. "After all that work, they better soak until they's wrinkled as raisins."

--oooo--


	12. Chapter 12

Exchanging Words – 12

Mal shifted under Kaylee, fingering strands of her damp hair from his face. She rained kisses on his chest before settling. Twisting a bit, Kaylee drew covers up over them. Her sigh of exhausted contentment echoed about them. Nested in his bunk, they snuggled, something Mal would never have admitted desiring.

He looped his arms around her waist to hold her steady as she adjusted the blanket. "It is good to be home."

Her grin teased his chest hair.

"When ya was getting Wash and Zoe item number two, how come ya didn't haggle us one?" Mal thumbed her spine.

"Only saved nuff for the one." She muttered. "Next year, Cap'n… don't know if the pressure valve would hold for two, might have … to re-route… and the water … circulator… might…. You and I got the smaller bunks…. Maybe down in the passenger dorm…. Routing…."

He watched her features relax to sleep. Didn't take long. Mal was relieved to see her finally quit smiling so bright and shiny, liked to blinded him, all that smiling….

Day had gone well. She'd sorted pieces and parts. Stripped down and installed some 'gotta do it on the ground' vital innards. Fixed a panel in the console on the bridge, laughing with Wash about it being a hair finer touch and not smashing 'em all into a sun. From there she'd gone to the engine room, grumbling about really needing two days in the world, not just one. "Always rushin; what good is parts without time to tend her proper?"

Zoe'd cornered him in the hold and nagged him none to kindly about Jayne getting shot.

"Sooo, I really can't let you go nowhere without me, can I, sir?" She stacked a carton of protein supplements behind the grill.

"We did all right." Mal passed another carton to her.

"Uh huh." Zoe nodded.

"I'm not some half brain you gotta herd from job to job." Mal whined.

"Course not sir." Zoe slammed the gate and they moved on to the next. "Did ya even get to the suite?"

"Zoe!" Mal gasped. "You just keep impugning my manly prowess right and left. I never suspected ya thought so little of-"

"And that would be a no?" She bent to unlatch the gate.

"No, I mean it's a yes. Confound it, Zoe. You ain't supposed to be sticking your large, although it be refined and beautiful, nose into my business." Mal stalked to drag a crate to the security of restraint.

She shoved the crate in and climbed over it to rearrange things a bit, for stability. "And while you were in the suite, Kaylee shot Jayne in the ass because…?"

"Weren't in the suite then." Mal growled, yanking another crate toward the cage. "Had bartering to do."

"So, she shot Jayne while bartering?" Wash appeared from nowhere. Taking the other end of the crate, side-stepping with Mal across the hold.

"No, that happened during the rescue. It's not like it sounds!" Mal defended, "Well, it is but it's not as bad – oh, stow the cargo and shut the hell up."

Zoe poked her head out from the cage, gaze pleading with Wash to pick up the gauntlet, "See why I can't let him go nowhere without me?"

"I do, dear. Obviously the man can't enjoy item number two without gunplay disturbing the bliss of the moment. Poor Kaylee." Wash yelped when Mal dropped his end of the crate and stomped away.

He clomped up the stairs, halted at the top to glare at the two of them smirking up at him. Laughter burst from him and he said, "Don't give her no grief over shooting Jayne. She done it defending my honor, in a manner of speaking."

"Honor. Of course, sir." Zoe nodded.

Wash raised his hand, "Does this mean we can continue to torment you?"

Mal sighed, rolled his eyes and left them to stow the remaining cargo. Their giggles followed him to the engine room. Where Kaylee tormented him with complaints about needing more time to strip down a port something or other.

"Time we ain't got, there's a job to get done." Mal told her, leaning on _Serenity's_ housing, admiring her stretch and squirm to uncouple some part. "Badger waved – need to be out toward Bernadette by day after tomorrow. He's got goods he needs picked up and routed back."

"Shiny." She reached above her for a tool, slapping around till she found it. "Let me be. I'll get her ready for workin on time."

"Want some help?" He squeezed beside her and peered in.

Kaylee's laugh shot at him across her shoulder. Turning her face towards him, she asked, "You want to be in the sky on time?"

"No respect from my crew." He thumbed her nose, reflecting her grin with an ease that surprised her breath away.

"We wouldn't want ya to get too full of yourself, sir. Now, shoo and let me get this done." Kaylee turned away and stretched a bit further.

"I'll go knit." Mal backed away and left her to it.

By the time Shepherd Book called folks for a meal, the cargo was stowed and secure. Jayne was complaining about River being more twisted than poetry and Kaylee had 'most' of _Serenity_ put back together. Simon was badgering Jayne about his dressing and the risk of infection when Mal settled at the table. Zoe and Wash were plotting an early escape to enjoy a relaxing bath and trying to convince the Shepherd that if he did dishes tonight, they'd be willing to give him two free nights. Kaylee barely waited on the Shepherd to pray before tucking in to the food.

"Oughter have the last of her back together by dawn. Wash, you'll need to run the diagnostic on the panel fore I can lock it down. Then we can calibrate and I can align those rods." Kaylee nodded at the pilot.

"No problem, we can do it after we eat." He agreed. Two of them put their heads together and plotted testing and reconnecting parts like strategy of a major campaign.

Inara breezed in amidst the meal, a slender bottle of spirits cradled in her elbow. She settled between Mal and Zoe, leaning forward to comment, "From the looks of the hold, you did well, Kaylee."

Kaylee grinned, "Got most everything on the list."

"She had some help!" Mal pouted.

"Sure as hell did." Jayne groused.

"And," Zoe leaned on Inara's shoulder, whispering, "Item Number Two."

"No! Really?" Inara's delight turned to mockery when she narrowed her eyes at Mal. "You didn't agree to that." Tossing her head to the other end of the table, she grinned at Kaylee, and asked, "How'd you manage it Kaylee?"

"Just had to shoot Jayne is all." Kaylee shrugged, "Cap'n was a mite concerned bout my skill with a weapon."

Mal's injured pride oozed around the table, not a one ignored a chance to get in on the torment. Jayne exalted his self as a suffering hero to the edge of angst, making sure Mal sounded like he was wearing a floral bonnet and skirts when Jayne needed him most. Mal suffered when he could, between laughing and not spewing his wine on the table.

Kaylee sipped wine, and though she nodded often and laughed at all the right moments, she was almost as quiet as the crumbs littering plates. He'd watched the shadow cross her face, knew the moment she felt guilty for feelin so 'ta home' and the instant she pushed it away. Might as well have shoved _Serenity_ into the atmo by her own self. Her smile never faltered but Mal could feel the tension clear across the table. Bright and shiny smile or not, she hurt.

"Wash let's run that diagnostic fore this wine soaks in." Kaylee stood up and Wash leaned on Zoe, moaning.

"Aw, just five more minutes." He begged.

Kaylee tilted her head, raised her eyebrows and reminded him, "Fifteen minutes to run the diagnostic, twenty to calibrate and Item Number Two awaits ya."

"Oh." Wash smooched in Zoe's general direction and hot-footed it to the bridge.

Kaylee followed, stuffing her hands in her pockets and forgetting to laugh. Inara glared at him.

"What the hell did you do to her?" She hissed.

Mal saluted her with his cup, "Always thinking the best of me…like that about ya 'Nara."

Zoe put her hand on Inara's arm, shook her head and smiled at Shepherd Book, looking so uncomfortable across the table. "Guess I can help you with these dishes after all."

Inara turned her gaze to Jayne. The big man scooted his chair back and put his fist round Simon's neck. "Reckon ya ought to check that dressin, doc. Now would be good for me."

Simon didn't bother to do more than drop his napkin, "Yes, of course. River, you coming?"

"Radiation levels too high in here." River darted in front of Jayne to escape.

Inara leaned back, grinning at Mal's scowl. She was ready to scuffle. "How quickly everyone abandons you."

Mal swallowed the last of the wine and stood up. "Just know it's none of their business, no more'n it's yours." With a mocking bow, he followed Wash and Kaylee to the bridge.

Zoe came to clear the table and met Inara's worried frown with understanding, "Got no idea why she shot Jayne or who they were actually rescuing. Captain said Kaylee was defending his honor and nothing more."

"Shit." Inara gulped her wine and poured the last into the chipped mug. "They got the bartering done, of course. Did they, at least…"

Zoe nodded, stiffening as Mal walked though and waved a royal hand at the two women leaning across the table, "Don't mind your gossip, just fetching tools. Shepherd ya might wanna sermonize on the evils of gossip – might toss in the part about the damnation it guarantees."

Inara rolled her eyes and Zoe snorted. Shepherd leaned across the counter to shout after the Captain, "Can I toss in the part about those who use their tongue as a sword instead of an instrument of peace as well?"

"Suit yourself." Mal's voice drifted from the engine room. "Under the hammock. Girl, ya got three toolboxes under the hammock! Which pretty blue one is it?"

Kaylee ran through, grimacing at the Shepherd and ladies. "Sorry bout this, just a slight technical difficulty."

The burst of laughter followed her all the way to the engine room. Took her ten minutes behind the closed door to sooth Mal's righteous frustration. Finally, she just kissed him to silence, grabbed the toolbox she needed and scuttled on out of his sputtering range.

His grin was a mite smug when he returned to the dining area and nodded at those still hanging about. Jayne burst through, clutching the waistband of his pants and screeching like a banshee. He skidded to a halt, frothing words less intelligible than normal.

"She ain't got no sense of decency – no 'preciation for a man's privacy!" He tilted his head, mimicked a girl's voice, "Let me see. Maybe I can help."

River bolted in, saw Jayne's raging glare and simply turned around the way she came.

Jayne stalked to his bunk, "And I want my belt back!"

Mal put his hands on Inara's shoulders and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Welcome home, ambassador. Did ya miss us as much as we missed you?"

Her laughter eased about the ship, tickling, comforting and taking what remained of tension from those around her. She patted his hand before gliding to her feet and stepping away. "Undoubtedly, Captain."

Mal nodded, grateful for her grace. "How's that for peacemaking, Shepherd?"

"I'll skip the leprous suffering the devil tongue can cause … this time." Book smirked and scrubbed a pan.

"There is indeed a God and he has shown mercy!" Zoe shouted as she stacked plates.

Rolling his eyes, Mal went to find the doc and see bout fetching Jayne's belt. Wasn't sure he wanted to find out what 'misunderstanding' had relieved the man of such a vital article of clothing.

--oooo—

Half-past morning, a fresh scrubbed Kaylee climbed down his ladder, surprising Mal. She grinned, tossed her robe across the room and snapped the overhead light out. Sliding the Dummy book from his hand, she kissed his neck and whispered, "I can tell ya bout the best parts."

"Didn't cross them out?" He chuckled.

There'd been none of the awkwardness he'd been puzzling over while she and Wash worked half the night. The doubts and worries over which bunk to use, would she want some declaration before the crew... none of it seemed to matter. Mal shoulda expected that. Kaylee wasn't offended by wanting – needing; indifference wounded her, discounting her skills or abilities scratched at her but the ache to be with her would never insult Kaylee.

He watched her sleep, feeling the rise and fall of her breath across his heart. He felt like an idiot, marveling that it felt as normal to hold on to Kaylee as it did tripping on his own two feet on the way to coffee. A grin tugged at his face as he imagined offering such turnip-headed words to her. He fell asleep tryin to think of some better. Something to ease the ache away from her so she wouldn't smile like she was dying...

--oooo--


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Firefly & Characters aren't mine. Money sure as heck isn't mine either (gorramit!). My heart is just dancing in their 'verse for a little while.

Exchanging Words –13

Badger neglected to mention the goods they were routing to Persephone were three generators that would need to be repossessed. It took two days of assaulting a brick and mortar stronghold full of women, children and old folks to get to the generators. Followed by another day's negotiations during which Kaylee was sent for to do some magic on the settler's old generators.

In exchange for Kaylee's work and the parts she used, the settler's gave them two barrels of black ale, a dozen fresh eggs and a bolt of homespun. Mal declined the invitation to enjoy some festival or other and pushed, Jayne, Zoe, Kaylee and the mule hard to get back to _Serenity_ before dark.

Badger probably wouldn't consider their solution worth the extra fee Mal intended to tack on for 'minor details left out' but the generators would compensate them as trade, if necessary.

"Not bad for a couple day's siege against the starving and infirmed. No one bad shot, no one dead and we got the goods without leaving folks' with no water or heat. Not bad…." Mal yawned and flung his arm across his face.

He drifted to sleep before Kaylee finished cleaning the grit from below his right eye. She splashed a kiss and a tear across his lips. Tended the other minor scrapes and grazes. He was sleeping deep, so if her hands shook, it was only her that knew the shame of her fears….

Simon was digging rock bits out of Jayne's shoulder so Kaylee accepted the first-aid bag with thanks. Simon promised, "I'll come down and check on him after I'm done here. Zoe okay?"

"Just some bruises, she said. Weren't so bad." Kaylee watched Simon tweeze gravel from Jayne's back, wincing as the pebble hit the metal pan. Settler's had no real ammo, so they'd used what was to hand.

"You okay?" Simon paused, tweezers hovering over Jayne who was trying to keep an eye out for River who might decide to help.

"Me? Oh yeah, shiny." Kaylee nodded before darting through the door, stumbling into Inara and apologizing.

"Kaylee?" Inara tried to catch Kaylee's hand but she shot past and swung up the stairs like Reavers were on her trail.

Simon peered from the door of the infirmary, a bloody hunk of flesh and gravel clenched in his tweezers. "That was strange."

Inara shivered. "That's stranger."

"Just a bit of-"

"I came with a clean shirt for Jayne." She held it out and River snagged it as she fluttered into the infirmary.

Bedlam ensued and Inara settled on the sofa to watch. She enjoyed Simon's ambidextrous handling of Jayne's embarrassment masquerading as anger and River's deliberate efforts to enhance Jayne's indignation. Wasn't hard for Inara to see River knew exactly what she was about or that Simon suspected. Poor Jayne was oblivious.

Shepherd came to join her, towel over his shoulder, grin on his face. "Entertainment before dinner?"

"More efficient that way." Inara confided.

"Maybe a tourniquet?" River clutched the shirt, pleading in a quivery voice.

"I don't think so, River." Simon rolled his eyes. "Go help the Shepherd with dinner."

"Can't bandage taters." River pouted, throwing Jayne's shirt on the counter.

Shepherd leaned forward, waiting for River and asked Inara, "Everyone else all right?"

"Scrapes and bruises is all I heard about." Inara shook her head, frowning. "Kaylee seemed a bit upset. I think she expected the worst when Zoe sent for her."

River giggled as she raced by them.

"Don't need no gorram enema for a shoulder!" Jayne jack-knifed from the table, landing on his … Kaylee scar. Kicking to his feet he weaved to the doors of the infirmary and slammed them together, knocking the lock into place before belly flopping on the exam table. Whatever he muttered remained behind the glass, no doubt offering Simon an education the Osiris MedAcad neglected.

Simon's grin met Inara's as she waved and wandered off to assist the Shepherd and River with the meal.

Kaylee heard the commotion but ignored it. Mal was resting easy, smiling when she helped him out of his shirt and boots. "Hmmm, nice."

"Is it?" She slid behind him, propping him against her. Toes wriggling along his thigh until he caught her foot.

"Woman you're gonna wear me out." He thumbed the ball of her foot, holding tighter when she squirmed. "Ticklish huh?"

"Thought ya was worn out?" She breathed against his un-bruised cheek.

"Never _that_ worn out." He flipped her over his shoulder and snagged her fore she landed on the floor, enjoying the squeal she gifted him.

They skipped dinner, choosing instead, to curl up in his bunk and sneak in some much needed sleep….

--oooo--

Mal wasn't sure what woke him but when he reached to draw Kaylee close he found nothing but a pillow where she'd been. Groggy and sore, he sat up but didn't hear her in the room. He dressed and climbed the ladder, peered into her bunk but the door was open and lights blazing. Didn't find her in the kitchen or sitting up with Wash.

He went and poked his head in the darkened engine room, didn't see her. He turned to go to the hold when a sound caught his ear. Looking round to the other side, Mal found Kaylee. She was hunched in a ball, far back in the corner as she could get, sobbing like her heart was clawing free without her consent.

"Ai ya!" Mal gasped, "Kaylee?" He crept forward, resting a soothing hand on her shoulder. He jumped back when she wrenched from his touch and screamed.

"No!" Kaylee shrieked.

Launched at him from a crouch, knocking his legs out from under him so they landed in a tangle on the deck. Trying to scramble free of his hold, her intent to run, scaring him as much as the screaming and sobbing.

"No! Leave her alone! You leave her alone!" Kaylee was pummeling him with her hands, flat open and mostly ineffective, but the intent to defend was in her glazed eyes. If she'd had a wrench to hand, likely woulda brained him.

"Easy. Hey, watch the ribs. Kaylee, stop it!" Mal wrestled and pinned her to his chest. Something he said must have penetrated. She quit struggling, sagged against him, gasping for breath.

"What the hell is going on?" He tried to see her face but she'd burrowed into his neck, clutching him for life.

"Just a dream. Just a dream." Was the only coherent thing he could catch as between sniffs and sobbing.

"You were dreaming under the engine?" Mal frowned.

She shook her head, "Woke up – came here. Had to make sure."

"Kaylee you're making no sense, qin ài de." Mal laughed but nothing felt humorous.

Wash skidded to a halt at the door of the engine room, Shepherd and Zoe right behind him. Mal could hear Jayne pounding along the deck. He waved them away. Wash turned and shooed folks back, except for Zoe. She sat down on the steps, her gaze focused on Mal.

"Dream," he mouthed silently.

Zoe held her hands out, questioning the cause.

Mal shook his head and Kaylee rose from her sprawl across his chest. She scrubbed at her face with her hands. Glancing over her shoulder at Zoe, she said, "Just a bad dream. Sorry I woke ya."

"Happens." Zoe stood up, "Thought maybe we were springing a leak when I heard the scream. Wash is sorely attached to that tub."

Kaylee snorted and tugged her sleeping shirt down before offering Mal her hand. He took it, held it, even after he'd gained his feet.

Mal nodded at Zoe.

"Night, sir; Kaylee." Zoe said; went to send the others back on to bed. Captain had things under control. It no longer looked like Kaylee was planning to murder him with her bare hands.

Kaylee watched the engine revolve, her eyes seeing something horrifying where she usually found comfort. Mal squeezed her hand and she started, but forced herself to look away. She smiled and led him away from the engine, turning out the service light behind them as they left the engine room.

Mal halted her determined steps at the door of her bunk. She frowned but followed him down the ladder. His laughter made her smile. "Girl ya got these lights on blinding?"

Kaylee palmed a switch and they winked away. "I like 'em. They're cheery."

"Remind me to get some sunglasses when we get to Persephone." Mal was rearranging pillows and covers in the reading light over the bed. He sat down, waved to her and said, "C'm'here."

Reluctantly, she sat next to him on her bed. Mal scooted back, propping himself against her pile of pillows, smiling and waiting. "Ya wanna tell me bout what just happened?"

Kaylee adamantly shook her head, "No."

Mal nodded. "I see. Every time ya get squirrelly inside you gonna clam up and make me guess what's wrong?"

She glared at him. "Am not squirrelly. Just had a bad dream, not loosing my mind or something."

"Just loosing sleep." He nudged her thigh with his bare toe.

"I heard you dreamin plenty of times, didn't hear you sharing all and sundry details, Cap'n." Kaylee jumped to her feet and bent to tidy her floor. Mostly just dumped stuff lately and took off to fix this or that. Place was a wreck.

"Did you now." Mal frowned at the wall, raised the fabric she had hanging and pondered on the thickness of steel welded between them. "Musta been disconcerting to hear me?"

Kaylee folded a shirt and shrugged.

"Maybe explains how you always know when to come sit with me on the bridge or turn up with a cup of coffee when I'm just sittin there in the kitchen." He dropped the fabric back in place.

Tossing clothes on her little trunk, Kaylee sighed. "Just thought - ya might need to talk about everyday things. Remember where ya was, that ya was all right."

"Musta worked. Don't recall the last nightmare I had, just remember sitting with you." Mal crossed his ankles, watching her fidget with her things. "And this is why you think if you don't talk it will just go away?"

Kaylee nodded.

"Only you don't wake anybody. You just pop out to have a gut wrenching sob and caress the engine…. Don't go looking to talk about everyday things either." Mal leaned forward and captured one of her hands, holding on when she sat down next to him.

She grinned, "We could have sex again."

Mal laughed, running his hand across her hair. "We could."

"Now?" She faced him.

"Never tried that for chasing nightmares away, you?" Mal grinned.

Kaylee tilted her head at him, "Can't decide if you're teasing or not."

"I think you're the tease, Kaylee." Mal leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Me?"

"Sure. You trust me with your life, your body and your smile but… sad things, deep things, you cross out or hold to yourself." Mal swallowed and said, "That seem right to you?"

Kaylee flew off the bed and backed away like he'd scorched her.

"Not about that boy dying – this is about that gorram bounty hunter, isn't it?" Mal's voice was barely a whisper but Kaylee covered her ears like he'd shouted.

"No." She turned away.

Mal encircled her from behind, tugging her hands from her ears. He laced his hands with hers and turned her back to him. "Tell me?"

"It – it starts out that way. Always starts out with him roaming the ship." Kaylee shuddered. "When he can't find River, he comes back to the engine room – starts ripping _Serenity_ to pieces. Yanking and tearing her apart, killing her bit by bit and makin me watch it….I woke up at that part – before."

He tugged her to the bed, sitting with her in his arms. Knees bent on either side of her, cradling her with all of himself. Kissing her head, then prodding in a gentle tone, "Before?"

"I slept in the engine room for a couple weeks. Just watching over her. Till I was sure she was safe. Till it was foolishness to let dreams become real." Kaylee's hands flew outward, then back toward her. Mal's fingers remained laced with hers, following her movements.

"And then?" Mal used their joined hands to tug a quilt over them. Letting her determine where it rested but not letting go.

Kaylee shrugged. "Just … changed. I get up and go cry and then work a bit. Come back to bed fore you wake up."

"So it changed after Beaumonde?" Mal closed his eyes, leaned his forehead on her and waited.

She nodded.

"You gonna make me yank it out of ya?" He growled into her hair.

"Whilst he is tearing into _Serenity_ you come in to the engine room, try and stop him. He's ripping and hacking at ya – yanking parts of you away, big hunks and chunks and – and then he's gone and you're laying in my lap… what's left - I'm trying to put you back together and _Serenity_ is screaming at me to help her and your telling me to fix you – fix her … but I can't. I can't fix anything! I can't find my tools and - And you're mad and _Serenity_ is dying – killing us… and then there's this gun in my hand and you're beggin me and I'm-"

He didn't say nothing. He could feel tears splashing against his arms. Could guess what came next….

"I'm shooting her and you… cause you begged me – I failed. Coulnd't fix things, broke good faith with ya – and I wake up. Just have to see she's okay. _Serenity's_ okay then I know it was a dream and that I'd never – couldn't never…. If she's okay it's … safe to see you're okay. It all seems so **real**. I can feel you gettin cold, can taste the bad atmo, can hear her screamin for me and that man's voice in my ear…." Her head fell forward and she turned toward him, her fingers squeezing his so tight he wasn't sure she wouldn't snap them.

"No, you couldn't never, ever, Kaylee. And I'd never, ever ask." Mal sighed. The fact he could imagine, with ease, what she'd feel - that waking up wouldn't have comforted her none, scared him. Kaylee had a core of strength he'd leaned on without even realizing, asking her to make miracles without thanking her when she did...

"I shot Jayne." Kaylee shuddered. "It were easy as pie. If I could do that … I could do … anything."

Mal cupped her face, drawing her gaze to his. "No. You. Couldn't."

Kaylee nodded but he could see she didn't believe a word or his certainty. She bowed her head and nested back on his chest. Hiccoughing against his pounding heart, she asked, "Can we have sex now?"

His laughter bounced her about. "Sex don't fix everything. You can't fix everything either. Don't expect you to."

She nodded but he felt denial in the fingers that trailed across his chest, heading toward his neck. Tugging her hand away from distracting territory, Mal sighed and shoved her upright.

"And that's it. Poof, let's have sex, it's over?" He searched her gaze for any sign of fire; found the lifeless smile, trying to entice him or distract him enough so she could squiggle away.

"We could talk bout every day things now." She shrugged, sighed and tugged her legs up on the bed, squirming back against the wall. "I know it's a dream. I know why I have it. It'll go away."

"When?" Mal crossed his legs, leaned his elbows on his thighs, prodding her with his eyebrows up near his hair.

She shrugged, "When it's clear in my mind fixing _everything_ is foolishness I guess."

"Reckon you think my feelings for you are foolishness too, likely just go away, hacked away right before your eyes?" He tucked hair behind her ear, smiling when she gazed at him, open-mouthed. "You think this is about fixing things. Maybe it's about what you don't think you can fix. You're thinking you gotta be stronger now? Better than ever so's I won't … break into pieces in your lap? You keep the sorrow inside so's I won't be ashamed and rip out your heart, take _Serenity_ away. That's what _this_ is about isn't it?"

Kaylee shook her head, spilling tears down her cheeks.

"Not wanting to change you, Kaylee. Wouldn't want you to be but what you are." He thumbed the stream of tears. "On the wreck, you kept your head, did good. I didn't expect you not to – but you did, didn't you? Everyone else so surprised, but not me. When we found you on Beaumonde, you'd done no less than I'd expect your tender heart to do. You defended your choice with all ya had – why'd you think that was something you'd turn on me or _Serenity_, on us? You keep talking about dying but it's not your dying it's my feelings for you dying that's what you're all time telling me isn't it?"

"There's not much to me but cheerful and fixin, Mal. I don't see the 'verse all gloomy and dark, can't help that. Even a man dying – longin for what beauty he knew…." She hopped to her knees. "But, you – You're shiny enough for all manner of things. You get stronger each day. Finding life inside ya again. This life, it's more'n I ever imagined but for you, it's what you were left with, just like…. Stands to reason that eventually-"

"I choose this life, Kaylee. No less than you. I tried life in the world, tried going back to bustin dirt and cattle and payin taxes. But everything was choked with what it should be, bitter with what could be, burning with what it ain't. That life twists a man crazy or makes him a King of Scrap still directing troops, only now he calls 'em wives and partners. Turns him into Patience, willing to kill rather than part with honest coin so's she can be Mayor. Both of 'em pretending to defy the Alliance while payin 'em under the table in one way or the other." He took her face, forced her eyes to meet his, "Kaylee, there's peace to be had here, living in the black. Risks are mighty but the freedom to direct what's left of my soul is worth that. Ain't missing bowing and scraping to some Magistrate or owing my land to some Company that's for sure."

Kaylee rushed him. Her arms sliding round him, holding him close. He knocked his head against her shelf, but didn't feel it none. Ran his hands up and down her back, feeling the tears in his neck and the shudders in her breathing.

"And there's you." He whispered. "My own personal sun shine or rain storm depending on the moment."

She laughed, "Ain't never cried so much in my whole life as this last few weeks."

"Glad to know I bring out the best in you." Mal kissed her forehead.

"Now?" She whispered.

"Now." He sighed.

--oooo—

They were a few hours back out from Persephone when he felt her stir from the bed. He'd stayed awake two nights, watching her creep away and come back, cheeks clammy with tears she'd splashed away. Mal was right sick of it.

"Come back here, Kaylee." He shoved Captain Reynolds into each breath of his voice.

She jumped and tripped over his boots or hers. "Just goin to-"

"She's fine. Come back to bed." Mal waited.

"I'll be right back." She pleaded, terror in her voice, compulsion to not look at him, to not let this be part of the dream.

He steeled his heart and sat up. "Turn the light on, Kaylee."

"What?" Confusion.

"Those blinding lights, turn 'em on."

She did, both of them blinking and trying to focus.

"As you see, I'm fine. All in one piece. No one here but you and me." He held his hand out to her.

Kaylee looked at the ladder, gnawing at her lip.

"You gonna take this step now or drag it out another few weeks?" Mal sighed. "I'm getting tired of listening for you to slip away, hoping you'll come back. If I get too tired, might not have the stamina you've grown used to." He grinned, tilting his head so's she'd see him: The man not willing to let her go over fears with no basis in fact.

She stared at the hatch but smiled, "Wouldn't want that to happen."

"Come to bed, Kaylee. Tell me bout that stupid looking do-hickey there." He pointed in a vague way.

"That's just decoration." Kaylee frowned, stepping back so's she could look at the little glass bowl hanging from a knotted rope.

"What's inside?" Mal watched her think about it, dropping on to the foot of the bed and trying to remember.

"Oh, there's stones from home." She grinned and jumped up to fish them out and scatter them across the bed. "This one's from my sister's place and this one is from my brother's grave site, this one's from the drive to my daddy's shop. Stones from home, put 'em in my pocket fore I left. Gosh, ain't thought about them stones in forever. When I first came aboard, I musta fondled them two or three times a day."

Mal picked up a shiny blue one and held it to the light. "Where's this one from?"

Kaylee bounced back on the bed, using a fingernail to trace the thread of silver running through it. "Back home, there's a lake and this tree. When we was kids, we used to swing out and splash down. One time, I got a mite carried away and missed the best jumpin spot. Landed in the shallows and knocked myself senseless. When I come to, my momma was comin on the run, screeching and hollerin. Oh, she'd liked to wore me a new – well, in my hand was that stone. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. Took it to town, and the man there told me it likely was from before the terraforming. Sorta made it, I don't know… magic like."

Mal ran the stone along her glowing cheek, "Just like you."

Kaylee choked on her laughter, "If that ain't the corniest thing."

"Hey!" Mal tossed the stone in the pile, affronted, "Not like I got any practice at this soft words shit."

"Don't need that, Mal." She scooped the stones into her hands and dribbled into the glass bowl. "You say plenty nice things without trying to. Don't need more'n that."

His lips curled in disbelief. "All women need shiny words. It's a law or something."

Kaylee laughed and crawled across the bed to spread herself over him. "Beauty of livin in the black is we don't gotta worry bout foolishness like that."

His hand moved toward the switch but she reached out and gripped his wrist. Alarm flaring across her face, "Not yet. Just a bit longer, please?"

Mal nodded, fingering her hair away and smiling gently. Cleared his throat and said, "Okay, magic stones. What else? Got magic beans too?"

Kaylee bit her lip and looked around, grinning when her eyes settled on an ugly patchwork sampler on the wall. Settling on his chest, she said, "That there is my first sewing. My moma despaired of me ever handling a needle as well as I did a wrench."

"Did you?" He rubbed his hands along her shoulder blades.

"I did. This quilt is mine and that there, the one with the tree and rope? I did that one too."

They spoke of trivialities until her eyes drooped closed, her words slurring together of home and relatives and learning to put an engine together…. Mal covered them with the quilt she'd made when she first came aboard and didn't know what to do with herself outside of working on the engine. He gazed around the room, finding peace among the shiny everyday things.

Weren't no trouble to leave the light on.


End file.
